“You have to be rich, though, to enter a convent,” grunted the Hâvre notary, “and you have not a sou.”
I leaned toward Mlle. De Brabender, and whispered: “I have the money that papa left.”
The horrid man overheard.
“Your father left some money to get you married,” he said.
“Well, then, I’ll marry the Bon Dieu,” I answered, and my voice was quite resolute now. I turned very red, and for the second time in my life I felt a desire and a strong inclination to fight for myself. I had no more fear, as everyone had gone too far and provoked me too much. I slipped away from my two kind friends, and advanced toward the other group.
“I will be a nun, I will!” I exclaimed. “I know that papa left me some money so that I should be married, and I know that the nuns marry the Saviour. Mamma says she does not care; it is all the same to her, so that it won’t be vexing her at all, and they love me better at the convent than you do here!”
“My dear child,” said my uncle, drawing me toward him, “your religious vocation appears to me to be more a wish to love.”
“And to be loved,” murmured Mme. Guérard, in a very low voice.
Everyone glanced at mamma, who shrugged her shoulders slightly. It seemed to me as though the glance they all gave her was a reproachful one, and I felt a pang of remorse at once. I went across to her, and throwing my arms round her neck said:
“You don’t mind my being a nun, do you? It won’t make you unhappy, will it?”