We left Uncle Joseph’s at eight o’clock in the morning, F. A. driving his father’s horses, which are very fleet. I never had a more exhilarating ride. The air was delicious and we were a long time directly by the ocean. Oh, I wished for thee continually! Anna wanted to drive part way. So Edward got back in the seat with me, and presently our conversation drifted into politics. Thee knows I am no politician, and that I adhere to the belief of Garrison, that the Constitution of the United States is a “Covenant with Hell,” but I confess I am greatly interested in the Republican party. If Charles Sumner is right in his opinion of the Constitution, then through political action we may look for the final overthrow of slavery, but Edward is not even a Republican! He says the very foundations of our government will be shaken if they elect their president, and I am not sure that he is wrong! Let them be shaken, and relaid say I. He calls me a rebel, and warns me that if another Anthony Burrs appears in Boston, I may walk the streets in chains, as a conspirator against the peace and well-being of society. I can see that he goes to greater length than he otherwise might, because he thinks it teases me.
I asked F. A. to what party he belonged, and he quickly answered, “The Know Nothings.” I could not help joining in the laugh that followed, although it is a serious matter to me, and the levity with which these young men, of stanch old revolutionary blood, treat such questions astonishes me beyond measure.
Indeed I have as yet met no one whom I could characterize as other than “conservative.” One evening I said this in the parlor, and aunt quickly answered that to be erratic was always unpopular, and young people cannot afford to forego the pleasures of society. So she begged me not to say much even though I felt a great deal.
No doubt she intended to do me a kindness by this warning, but the contrast between this teaching and thine, dear mother mine, brought tears to my eyes. I think Uncle Joseph must have observed them, for when aunt was called out of the room, he patted me on the head and whispered, “Next week I am going to give my little girl a treat. We will not talk about it now, but she shall see and hear some Bostonians who are not conservatives.” I kissed him, and then we both laughed; and when aunt came in again he proposed a game of authors, which we play very often. It is quite new, and I am sure they have learned it in kindness to me, since they have discovered that I do not play cards. Did I ever tell thee my experience on this matter? It was soon after my arrival that a party of friends came in to spend the evening, and cards were proposed. It seems that aunt is a great card player—whist I believe they call it—and prides herself not a little on teaching it to others. It needs a certain number to perfect the game, and including myself there was just enough for two parties. When I found how matters were I am afraid I felt cowardly about avowing my principles. It is so unpleasant to make others uncomfortable, but I did not hesitate long. I spoke quietly to Uncle Joseph and asked him please not to count me, as I could not play. Aunt heard me and answered before he had time to do so: “Oh, that does not amount to much. You shall be my partner, and as you are surprisingly quick to learn, I will guarantee that another time you can lead a game.” I know my poor cheeks burned, but I had to tell her more. “Dear aunt,” I said, “it is not that I am ignorant, for you are both ever ready to help me, but that I believe it is wrong.” I wish thee could have seen the astonishment on her face. Her tone changed at once, and she spoke rather harshly, “Come, come, child, let us have no whims. How often do you have to be told that the judgment of your elders is enough. This is no concern of yours save to do as you are bid; take your place.” I am sure I do not know what would have followed—for I certainly could never have yielded and even for peace’ sake touched the pasteboard that is connected in my mind with all that is low and of evil report. But our struggles are never forgotten, and a friend was raised up. One of the ladies appealed to her brother to know if he had the new game in his pocket—authors—and then very graciously aunt permitted half of us to play this very simple and innocent amusement. Why is it to do right sometimes costs so much trouble to others? I think thee would say: We cannot solve all the problems of life; this is one that must rest with a higher intelligence than our own.
Uncle Joseph has just brought me a card of invitation to a party at the house of John B.’s mother. A queer little dark woman full of learning! With the card was a penciled note: “Our liberal entertainment will not take place until the week following Thanksgiving.” I suppose uncle wrote this, rather than talk about it before my aunt. But how sad it must be for two really well-meaning people not to agree in their principles.
Dear mother, I have kept this letter until after the party in order to tell thee about it, but I am afraid neither of us will quite enjoy my relation of it.
In the first place aunt insisted upon dressing my hair and arranging some flowers about my blue silk frock. She is really an artist in those things, and with the help of the maid I scarcely knew myself! Forgive me, if I say I could but admire the creature they had constructed. And yet it made me cry, I looked like a stranger! I thought best not to say a word but to go just as I was, in order to please her. Every time I passed a glass I felt like an imposter! Dear Uncle Joseph drove with me in the carriage and came after me at what they regard as an early hour, eleven o’clock. On the way he said, “Little girl, try and forget your furbelows, and next time I will persuade aunt to let you go in your simple white frock.” So I was comforted. And indeed I tried hard to forget, but I could not. People looked at me on every hand, and I thought it must be because it was as if I was trying to be someone else than a Friend. Then came another trial. There was a large room with a linen cover over the rich carpet, and dancing going on. The musicians sat in the upper hall, and supper was served from ten on. I had no sooner gone through with the ceremony of various introductions, than I was surrounded by young men, who asked me to dance. I suppose they did so out of kindness to a stranger, but Anna W. helped me in my trouble, by saying “Yes” to each one that asked me, and then I explained that Friends did not think it right to dance, and one young man made us laugh heartily by saying:
“Why, I thought you were a Quaker or a Shaker, or something that dances all the time, even when they go to church!” Did not that show gross ignorance?
The supper, too, tried me, for everyone, almost without an exception, took a glass of wine! Anna told me it was a “light wine,” but that could make no difference to me.
Edward H. was my escort, and when I declined taking it, he put his glass down untouched. I thought it was very wise in him. Perhaps the thought of its injurious influence was new to him. We did not talk about it, but half a dozen times we were urged to drink. It really made me sad, for these young men are not proof, always, against temptation, and indeed I had reason to fear before I left, that the wine had affected one of them at least; for as I stood waiting to say Good-night, he asked if he might accompany me home, and when I told him uncle was coming for me, he added: “I do not blame him for trying to keep such a beauty to himself as long as possible!”