Washington, April 1st, 1862.
To the Editers of The Cawcashin:
Surs:—I've ben awfully down in the mouth sence I writ you last. Things don't move nigh as fast as we all expected they would a spell ago; but I can't tell you the resin, for it wouldn't do to rite noose, for the rebils would get it. Linkin has ben feelin amazin bad; one day, wen we both had the dumps, Seward cum in, and ses he, "cheer up; its all goin to be over in thirty days." Linkin ses Seward reminds him of fellers he's seen out West who had the ager and fever. One day they think they are well, and the next they are shakin agin like all possessed. Wal, Linkin ralely did think that McClellan would be in Richmond by the 1st of April, even McClellan thought so. I telled Linkin he wouldn't, and bet him a bran new hat on it. So to-day I won it, but will you believe it, Linkin got a bet on me. He's a dredful cute critter in his way. Ses he to me, kinder funnin me I thought, ses he, "Majer, will you make a bet with me?" Ses I, "Yes, Kernel, I've jest won a bet of you, and taint more than fair to let you have a chanst now." "Wal," ses he, "I'll bet you a hat that I kin sneeze jest wen I've a mind to." Ses I, "Kernel, I don't believe it, and so I'll bet you. Now," ses I, "let's see you sneeze." "Wal," ses he, "I aint a mind to now. So," ses he, "hand over that new hat." Ses he, "Majer, you aint quite as smart as you thought you was." Ses I, "Kernel, now jest hold on about the forty-leventh part of a minit. You bet me a new hat, but I only bet you a hat, so," ses I, "you kin take the old one!" "Wal," ses Linkin, "Majer, you are jest the keenest Yankee I ever heerd tell on. You allers contrive to git ahed of me after all."
The other day I got a letter from Jerushy Matilda, Deacon Jenkins' darter, and Linkin was eenamost crazy to see how Chase's missionaries cum on. So I sot down, Deacon Jenkins was thar too, and read it all to Linkin, and I send it to you to print, jest as I promised. So here it is in full. Jerushy is a proper smart gal, and I guess thar aint menny of her age who can beat her:
Beaufort, S.C., March 25, 1862.
Deer Uncle—I take my pen in hand to fulfil my promise to you. Now, I'm goin to rite you the hull truth about things in this part of the Lord's vinyard. I shall tell you some grate news, so you must not tell par of it, for ef you do he'll rite hum about it, and then it will soon be all over Downingville. I jest as live mar would know it as not, but then she'll tell aunt Betsy Wiggles, and aunt Betsy will go rite over to old Deliverance Grimes, and tell her, and then Deliverance she'll put on her bonnet and start all over town, and ef Jim Pendergrass gets hold of it he'll hector me to death, for he's a rale pro-slavery Dimmycrat, and thinks that our colored brethren and sisters are fit only for slaves. I can't deny that I've been much disencurriged sence I've been here. You see we've got a very queer set of gals and men here with us. Some of 'em are quite old gals, who haint been very lucky in life, and naturally they feel kinder sour towards men in gineral. Some of 'em have been schule marms for a good many years, and some have been milliner gals. Two of 'em had a rale spat on the boat while we were comin here. The way it happened was this: There is a spruce looking old maid by the name of Priscilla Huggins, from Bosting, who is very gifted in prayer, and she tuk a great notion to Elder Sniffles, a young preacher, who is one of the piesest men I ever see. She is quite an old gal, and there was another gal, a nice looking and quite young gal, from York. Her name was Melissy Buggs. One day Melissy giv Miss Huggins a terribel slap by tellin her that she guessed she made believe being so pious jest to ketch Elder Sniffles. When Miss Huggins heerd this, she sed something unrespectful of milliner gals. "She didn't believe," she sed, "that eny of 'em had religion, and what's more than that, they want eny more respectable than they oughter be." When she sed that, Melissy she jumped rite at her with both her hands, and ketched hold of her har, and bless me, if she didn't pull nigh about all the har off her hed, for it turned out it was false har and not genoine. When Miss Huggins see her har on the floor, she turned as red as a beet, and Melissy said she guessed her hart was jest as false as her har. This made her redder yet, and jest at this point Elder Sniffles came along. He cum up, and ses he, "My dear sis-ters, this is not the way to walk in the fear of the Lord, and with gordly conversashen edefin one another. I fear that the Lo-rd will not bless your labors with our dear col-ored brethren, who have so long been groanin and cryin to the saints for deliverance from chains and slavery." This sort of rebuked them, but there's been a constant jingle in our company ever since.
When we arrived here, we were all very much disappented not to find a stage reddy to take us to the hotel, but las me! they aint got any kind of decent livin here. Instead of a hotel, they telled us we must cook our own vitals, and what do you think they giv us? The government promised to board us an lodge us for teachin the poor dear colored people, and takin keer of their souls, an we thought they would do it in decent stile. Instead of that, all we could get was sum salt pork and dry bread, jest the same as they giv to the common sojers. I tell you, didn't all of us feel hoppin, when the feller in brass buttons told us that was all he had for us. To think of turnin ladies an gentlemen with such stuff was shockin. I tell you, didn't Elder Sniffles giv him a piece of his mind, an brothers Sleek and Goodenough, and Elder Wattles, and young Deacon Dolittle all jined in, but they couldn't move the feller a mite. So we took a house, the best one we could find empty, an commenced doing for ourselves.
But I must tell you something about our colored brethren an sisters. The sojers here treat 'em very badly, kick and cuff 'em, an swear at 'em such horribel oaths that it makes the blood run cold. But we have taken 'em by the hand and leadin 'em by love. That old gal from Bosting, Priscella Huggins, actually hugged and kissed one old colored lady, until all the others laughed and jumped as if they thought it was very funny. For my part, I took a great notion to a young black gal, wen I first come here. She sed her name was Cloe, but she acted so much like Topsey, in that dear good novel of that dear good woman, Miss Stowe, that I took Topsey for me to teach. First off, I got along very with her. I axed her a good many questions, among others, where she was born. She sed she warn't born at all, but "was raised over on the Edisto." But jest as soon as I got done talkin to her, she seemed to forget all about it, an would go to dancin an cuttin up Jim Crow capers. In a day or two she got rale sassy, an I couldn't do nothin with her. One day I had to actually drive her out of my room, but it warn't but a little while before she put her wooly head in again. Then I told her again "how that I had come down there on purpose to elevate her, an to educate her, that she was jest as free as I was, and that she would never have to mind her old mistress agin." Wen I sed that, she bust out a cryin jest like a baby. Ses I, "What is the matter, dear Topsey?" "Oh," ses she, "I can't nebber hear ole missus talked of, but I bust rite out cryin. Oh! what a good missus she was! boo! boo! boo!" an she kept on cryin as if her heart would break. I thought it was dredful queer that she should be cryin to go back to bondage. But pretty soon it was all over, an she began to dance around the room jest as if she never thought of cryin. Pretty soon she upset a chair, on which I had laid some things, an I was awfully provoked. I took hold of her, and felt jest like shakin her to pieces, wen I axed her, ses I, "Topsey, why don't you be good?" "Las me! missus," she replied, "I can't be good unless I'm lickt." I tell you I was discurriged. That night I went to a colored meeting. The colored people are very religious, though their religion don't seem to be so deep as it ought to be. They danced and sung somethin like the Shaking Quakers, and I can't say that it was very edefyin. There was nothing spiritual about it, and the smell in the room was very unpleasant. Somehow colored people have a very singular smell, that I never knew of before I come down here, and the brothers and sisters don't like it at all. I had actually to hold my nose all through meeting in my pocket handkerchief, and yet it was almost more than I could stand. When meeting was over I was mighty glad to get out, I tell you. I don't know what we will do here all summer, but I expect we shall soon get used to it. The very next day after the meeting, what do you think happened? Why, we all went out to see a plantation, and while we were gone, the colored brethren that we made so much of, and who had pretended to be so pious, stole all the provisions that the government gave us! They were all gone, and what is more, I lost my best dress and a bran new petticoat that aunt Betsey Wiggles gave me just before I started for Washington. But you would have laughed to see old Miss Huggins go on about what she lost. They took all but one pair of stockings, and the best night gown she had. When Melisy Buggs heered of it she jumped rite up, and slapped her hands and cried good. They also took off old Miss Huggins' stuff for cleaning her false teeth, and you never heerd a woman go on so in all your life. I guess if Elder Sniffles had heerd her rave and tare as I did, he would think her piety warn't very deep. I didn't keer so much for the loss of my petticoat, but if aunt Betsey finds it out I'll never heer the last of it, and then if Jim Pendergrass gets hold of it, what shall I do? He is the most awful hectorer that ever lived, and he sets in church at Downingville, rite in front of par's pew. He'll grin at me the hull time. But I cum off good, I tell you. The other gals had to divide up with Miss Huggins, or I don't know what she would have done. As it is, ef much more is stolen from us we will all have to come home and get new wardrobes. All the brothers and sisters have been very much puzzled about this strange affair. The colored people all seem to be so very pious that was not believed for a long time that they could have stolen the things, but it seems they did, for old Miss Huggins was determined to find out, and she went off to some of the cabins, and there she found them tryin to comb their woolly heads with one of her fine teeth combs!
I tell you what it is, uncle Jack, I am afraid I've come on a fool's errand. Some how there aint the right look to things here, and ef we don't succeed better in the future than we have so far, in educating these colored people, I fear our labor will be lost. They will talk well enough before your face, but it don't last. But don't you let on to the Downingville folks that I'm at all disencouraged. If I come home it will be on the excuse that the climate don't agree with me. Elder Sniffles says no one must leave for any other reason, for that would bring down odium on the great cause. Elder Sniffles is going to preach hereafter regularly to the colored brethren, and he hopes he will soon teach them how wicked it is to steal. As soon as he teaches them that, then he is going on to other subjects, but that must be taught them at once, for one or two more hauls on us would send us all home with "nothing to wear."
Your affectionate neece,