“Life is a wonderful thing, a queer and bewildering thing, but a magnificent thing withal, when you’re not married.”
“’Tis, but no one makes the most of it. Some make it short by trying to make it long, and others make it long by trying to make it short.”
“Suicide is a cowardly thing if you’re married, and a brave thing if you’re not, but there’s nothing worse than selfishness, except being an Orangeman. They’re more proud than the peacocks themselves, and no one would bother with peacocks only for their fine feathers.”
“I never ate peacocks,” said Micus, “but I’d rather a good piece of bacon and cabbage than the finest turkey that was ever killed, cooked, and eaten.”
“Good green cabbage is a wholesome thing and bacon is better, but when a man has neither, there’s nothing like a good smoke.”
“That’s the worst of this country,” said Micus. “Some things are better than others, and a little of anything only gives you an appetite for more, and too much is as bad as too little. Too little makes one peevish and selfish, and too much makes one foolish. When you’re happy, you start thinking about the days of sorrow and mourning you had, and when you’re unhappy you start thinking about the days of joy and pleasure, and no matter what way you are, you want to be some other way. Sure this is no place for a man to live, if he wants to enjoy himself.”
“And where would you live if not in your native land? The savage loves his native heath.”
“I know he does, but the real estate men love it better, and that’s why land is so dear in America. The Land of Peace and Plenty is the only place to live.”
“The Land of Peace and Plenty! Where’s that?”
“Oh! ’tis leagues and leagues and leagues from anywhere you know.”