“What do all the people do there?”
“In the Land of Peace and Plenty, nobody does anything but enjoy themselves.”
“And if the Land of Peace and Plenty is such a wonderful place, how is it that the great powers of the world don’t go to war for it?” asked Padna.
“Sure they did go to war for it long before you began to make mistakes,” answered Micus, “and great battles were fought there too. And after the greatest battle of all was ended, the King ses to all the High Generals: ‘Fellow warriors and likewise courageous omadhauns,’ ses he, ‘what are we fighting for, anyway? The world is large enough for us all, and there’s enough of dead men already, and those that aren’t dead are alive, and those that are alive are nearly dead, but all the same,’ ses he, ‘I must compliment you on the magnificent way you slaughtered my fellow countrymen and your own fellow men, though why you did so, or wanted to do so, God alone knows.’”
“Every man is entitled to as much enjoyment as he can afford,” said Padna. “Sorrow is the price of pleasure, and the sport of nations is the curse of mankind.”
“We won’t discuss international politics. The world was best when people left others to mind their own business.”
“Proceed about the King of the Land of Peace and Plenty,” said Padna. “Interruptions and digressions are bad unless they’re for one’s good.”
“That’s true, but half a loaf is better than no bread when a man isn’t hungry.”
“Two heads are better than one,” said Padna, “and two fools, if they are any way sensible at all, are better than a wife with a bad temper. But comparisons are odious, as the whale said to the grasshopper. Go on with your story.”
“Well, the King ses to the Generals, after they had all forgotten what he first started talking about: ‘I demand,’ ses he, ‘in the name of justice, common sense, and humanity, that we will be allowed time to bury our dead, and that there will be no thunderous cannonading of artillery, no charges of cavalry, infantry, nor anything else that might be a breach of the etiquette of war, until our last man is buried.’ And then and there the Generals agreed, and from that day to this, there was never a sound, except of music, heard in the Land of Peace and Plenty.”