“It was the dead of night when he arrived at the Royal Palace, and without the least scruple he roused His Imperial Majesty from his slumbers. And when he put his head out of the window and asked who was there, Matty up and ses: ‘Come down-stairs and open the door and I’ll tell you.’
“So the Gaekwar came down-stairs in his nightshirt, and when he opened the door to let Matty in, he ses, as he frothed from the mouth with the sheer dint of passion: ‘Who, in the name of all the conger eels that are sold as salmon, are you, to bring a decent man from his bed at this hour of the night?’
“‘I am one Matty the Goat, my father is dead, my grandfather was a protestant who never got any meat to eat on Fridays, and my great-grandfather could jump the height of himself before he was three sevens.’
“‘To hell with your father, your grandfather, and all belonging to you,’ ses the Gaekwar. ‘I can’t for the life of me understand why people will bother their friends and acquaintances by retailing the exploits of their own family every time they get a chance.’
“‘Well,’ ses Matty, ‘we think more of our own, of course, than they do about us, and if we didn’t praise them, people might think they were no better than ourselves.’
“‘Most people aren’t worth praising or remembering anyway,’ ses the Gaekwar. ‘But that is no reason why you should bring me from my warm bed and have me shaking here like an aspen leaf, and the very stars themselves shivering with the cold.’
“‘Sure, ’tis myself that’s colder than any star, and I, that had to be out in a raging storm, with wind blowing a hundred miles an hour, and the rain falling and flooding the streets, and every raindrop would fill your hat.’
“‘That doesn’t interest me in the least,’ ses the Gaekwar. ‘What I want to know is what brought you here?’
“‘I want to know whether ‘twould be better to commit suicide in New York or Boston,’ ses Matty.
“‘Wisha, ten thousand curses, plus the curse of Cromwell on you, for a godson of the Devil, for no one else would try to get another to solve such a problem,’ ses he.