“‘If that’s so,’ ses Matty, ‘I’m glad I didn’t meet some of the bla’gards I knew before they were born, so to speak.’
“‘I imagine,’ ses the Gaekwar, ‘that a man with as much sense as you appear to have wouldn’t buy a house without first seeing it.’
“‘Of course not,’ ses Matty.
“‘Then what do you want to commit suicide for? That’s just like buying a pig in a bag. You don’t know what you are going to get until after you have made the purchase. Suicide, for all we know, may be only going from the frying pan into the fire. In a sense, ’tis like exchanging some valuable jewel for a lot of promises. And ’tis my solid belief that none of us know how wicked and foolish we are until we will get a peep at the Book of Records in the world to come. The very thought of that should be enough to keep a man alive forever. If there were as many worlds as there are stars, or grains of sands, then I might be able to understand why a man would want to commit suicide, if he was of a roaming disposition, and wanted to write a book of his travels and adventures. But suppose there is only one world, and that world may be this world, or there may be just another world, and that the next, what then? Anyway, I am surprised at you, an Irishman, not to be able to stand the abuse of two wives after all your race has suffered both from friends and enemies alike for generations. And Ireland’s would-be friends, in many ways, have been her worst enemies. However, be that as it may, I would like to know what you would do if you were like the Sultan of Sparonica, and he with more wives than you could count in a month of Sundays. ’Tis always well to keep what you have until you are sure of getting something better,’ ses the Gaekwar.
“‘But,’ ses Matty, ‘suicide is often the fate of a brave man.’
“‘No, Matty,’ ses the Gaekwar, ‘’tis ever the fate of a foolish man. Life at its longest is so short that we should all be able to endure it, even when our plans do not work out to our satisfaction.’
“‘But when a man loses interest in everything, and—’
“‘No man should lose interest in the beautiful things of life. And who indeed will gainsay that life at its longest is too short, especially for a man with a grievance like yourself?’
“‘Life is too short to understand women,’ ses Matty.
“‘’Tis easy enough to understand them,’ ses the Gaekwar, ‘but ’tisn’t easy to understand why we go to such trouble to please them.’