“Where was that?” asked Micus.
“Alone,” answered Padna.
“That would be all very fine if they stayed there,” said Micus.
“Now,” said Padna, “as I was talking of my travels in foreign parts, I want to tell you about the morning I walked along the beach at Ballysantamalo, and a warm morning it was too. So I ses to meself, ‘Padna Dan,’ ses I, ‘what kind of a fool of a man are you? Why don’t you take a swim for yourself?’ So I did take a swim, and I swam to the rocks where the seals go to get their photographs taken, and while I was having a rest for myself I noticed a grasshopper sitting a short distance away and ‘pon my word, but he was the most sorrowful-looking grasshopper I ever saw before or since. Then all of a sudden a monster whale comes up from the sea and lies down beside him and ses: ‘Well,’ ses he, ‘is that you? Who’d ever think of finding you here! Why there’s nothing strange under the sun but the ways of woman.’
“‘’Tis me that’s here, then,’ ses the grasshopper. ‘My grandmother died last night and she wasn’t insured either.’
“‘The practice of negligence is the curse of mankind and the root of sorrow,’ ses the whale. ‘I suppose the poor old soul had her fill of days, and sure we all must die, and ’tis cheaper to be dead than alive at any time. A man never knows that he’s dead when he is dead, and he never knows he’s alive until he’s married.’
“‘You’re a great one to expatiate on things you know nothing about like the barbers and the cobblers,’ said the grasshopper. ‘I only want to know if you’re coming to the funeral to-morrow.’
“‘I’m sorry I can’t,’ ses the whale. ‘My grandfather is getting married for the tenth time and I was in China on the last few occasions. I must pay my respects by being present at to-morrow’s festivities,’ ses he.
“‘I’m sorry you can’t come,’ ses the grasshopper, ‘because you are heartily welcome and you’d add prestige to the ceremony besides.’
“‘I know that,’ ses the whale, ‘but America don’t care much about ceremony.’