“Oh, bedad, whether you believe it or no, ’tis a fact, then, nevertheless,” said Padna.
“Well, it must have been a mistake of some kind, or maybe an accident. ’Tis possible, of course, that His Lordship took off his hat to leave the air to his head when the poor man was passing, but I can’t imagine that he removed it for any other purpose, unless, maybe, a wasp, or a fly settled on his bald crown. In that case he would take off his hat to scratch his head,” said Micus.
“If you don’t believe what I’m telling you, there’s no use going on with the story,” said Padna.
“There is not then. But surely,” said Micus, “you must have something else to relate, and I not to lay eyes on you since Monday was a week.”
“I have another story, if you’d like to hear it,” said Padna.
“Of course, I’d like to hear it. What is it all about?”
“’Tis all about a pig and a clucking hen,” said Padna.
“Let us take the shortest cut home, and I’ll listen to the story as we walk along. And ’tis glad I am that I went looking for the moon, this blessed night, else I mightn’t have found yourself, and I dying to have a talk with some one,” said Micus.
“Well,” said Padna, as he sauntered leisurely along with his friend Micus, who kept swinging a lantern, “on my way home from market yesterday evening, as the sun was sinking behind the hills, I strolled along the road that leads to Five Mile Bridge, and I felt so tired after the journey from Cork to Ballinabearna that I was compelled to say to myself: ‘Padna,’ ses I, ‘why the devil don’t you be sensible once in a while, and take a rest for yourself when you feel tired? What’s the use in wearing yourself out, and causing yourself unnecessary pain and torture, when in a few short years you will be as dead as decency, or disinterested kindness, which is no less than one and the same thing. And once you are dead, you are dead for ever and ever, and no one will bother their heads about you, or care whether you lived or not, or just existed, by trying to please every one but yourself. The man who tries to please everybody,’ ses I to myself, ‘won’t live half as long as one of the aristocracy, who don’t care where the money comes from so long as he has it to spend.’ And when all that was said, I then up and ses: ‘Padna,’ ses I, ‘that’s good sound advice, and don’t forget what I have told you.’ And then and there I made one jump and landed on top of a ditch, and as I looked over my shoulder into the field behind, what did I see but a pig and a clucking hen, and they exchanging salutations. And then they began to talk and this is what I heard:
“‘Good evening,’ ses the pig.