“Eh?” says I. And then I begun to get a glimmer of what he was drivin’ at. “What! You don’t mean that you were thinkin’ of—of——”
He groans again and nods his head.
Then I cuts loose. “Why, look here!” says I. “You soft boiled, mush headed, spineless imitation of a real man! do you mean to tell me that, just because you’ve been tied loose from a few skirts for a week or so, and have had to deal with some grouchy hired hands, you’ve actually gone jelly brained over it?”
Perhaps that don’t make him squirm some, though! He turns white first, and then he gets the hectic flush. “Pardon me, McCabe,” says he, stiffenin’ up, “but I don’t care to have anyone talk to me like——”
“Ah, pickles!” says I. “I’ll talk to you a good deal straighter’n that, before I finish! And you’ll take it, too! Why, you great, overgrown kid! what right have you developin’ such a yellow cur streak as that? You! What you need is to be laid over that chair and paddled, and blamed if I don’t know but I’d better——”
But just here the door creaks, and in drifts the other one. Hanged if I ever did know what his real name was. I called him Heiney Kirschwasser for short, though he says he ain’t Dutch at all, but Swiss-French; and that it ain’t kirsch that’s his failin’, but prune brandy. He’s the mop and broom artist for the buildin’, some floater the janitor picked up off the sidewalk a few months back.
He wa’n’t exactly a decorative object, this Heiney; but he’s kind of a picturesque ruin. His widest part is around the belt; and from there he tapers both ways, his shoulders bein’ a good eight inches narrower; and on top of them, with no neck to speak of, is a head shaped like a gum drop, bald on top, and remindin’ you of them mountain peaks you see in pictures, or a ham set on end.
He has a pair of stary, pop eyes, a high colored beak that might be used as a danger signal, and a black, shoebrush beard, trimmed close except for a little spike under the chin, that gives the lower part of his face a look like the ace of spades. His mornin’ costume is a faded blue jumper, brown checked pants, and an old pair of rubber soled shoes that Swifty had donated to him.
That’s Heiney’s description, as near as I can get to it. He comes shufflin’ in, luggin’ a scrub pail in one hand, and draggin’ a mop in the other, and he looks about as cheerful as a worn-out hearse that’s been turned into an ash wagon.
“Heiney,” says I, “you’re just in time. Still lookin’ for a nice, comfortable place to die in, are you?”