There was another pause, noisy with Doris’s weeping. The other members of the family began to feel that they ought to take their share in the argument. They none of them felt for Alard what Doris so surprisingly felt, but after all they could not sit round and watch Gervase turn the world upside down without some protest.
“You know I want to be reasonable,” said Jenny in rather an uncertain voice, “and I don’t want to push you into a way you don’t want to go. But from your own point of view, don’t you think that all this that’s happened just shows—that—that this religious life isn’t, after all, the right life for you—the life you were meant for?”
“I always said it was very silly of Gervase to become a monk,” said Lady Alard. “He could do quite a lot of good in the parish if he lived at home. Mr. Williams said he was looking for someone to manage the Boy Scouts.”
“Yes, that was what poor George was always saying,” said Rose—“‘Charity begins at home.’”
“Oh, don’t think I haven’t prayed over this,” cried Gervase—“that I haven’t tried hard to see if, after all, my duty didn’t lie in taking my place here and trying to save the property. But I’m quite sure that isn’t my duty now. As I’ve tried to show Doris, Conster simply isn’t worth saving. It’s lost its power for good—it can only do harm, to the district and to us. It had much better come to an end.”
“But even if you feel like that about the estate,” said Mary—“there’s the family apart from the land. It’s rather dreadful to think that a fine old family like ours should be deliberately allowed to die out—the name become quite extinct. And it’s not only for the family’s sake, but for yours. You’re a young man—scarcely more than a boy. I think it’s dreadful that you should already have made up your mind to live without marriage and die without children.”
“So do I!” cried Jenny, fierce at last.
“I’ve gone into all that,” said Gervase with a touch of weariness, “and you know how I’ve decided.”
“But these new circumstances hadn’t arisen.”
“I shouldn’t have decided differently if they had.”