“And what do they know about it if they are fools enough to think? They get thrown into false notions. They see about them a lot of fine purposeful women maybe caring for their children and they blame themselves for their vices and are ashamed. Then they turn to the other women anyway, shutting their eyes and going ahead. They pay for what they want as they would pay for a dinner, thinking no more of the women who serve them than they do of the waitresses who serve them in the restaurants. They refuse to think of the new kind of woman that is growing up. They know that if they get sentimental about her they'll get into trouble or get new tests put to them, be disturbed you see, and spoil their work or their peace of mind. They don't want to get into trouble or be disturbed. They want to get a better job or enjoy a ball game or build a bridge or write a book. They think that a man who gets sentimental about any woman is a fool and of course he is.”
“Do you mean that all of them do that?” asked McGregor. He wasn't upset by what had been said. It struck him as being true. For himself he was afraid of women. It seemed to him that a road was being built by his companion along which he might travel with safety. He wanted the man to go on talking. Into his brain flashed the thought that if he had the thing to do over there would have been a different ending to the afternoon spent with the pale girl on the hillside.
The barber sat down upon the bench. The flush out of his cheeks. “Well I have done pretty well myself,” he said, “but then you know I make violins and don't think of women. I've been in Chicago two years and I've spent just eleven dollars. I would like to know what the average man spends. I wish some fellow would get the facts and publish them. It would make people sit up. There must be millions spent here every year.”
“You see I'm not very strong and I stand all day on my feet in the barber shop.” He looked at McGregor and laughed. “The black-eyed girl in the hall is after you,” he said. “You'd better look out. You let her alone. Stick to your law books. You are not like me. You are big and red and strong. Eleven dollars won't pay your way here in Chicago for no two years.”
McGregor looked again at the people moving toward the park entrance in the gathering darkness. He thought it wonderful that a brain could think a thing out so clearly and words express thoughts so lucidly. His eagerness to follow the passing girls with his eyes was gone. He was interested in the older man's viewpoint. “And what about children?” he asked.
The older man sat sideways on the bench. There was a troubled look in his eyes and a suppressed eager quality in his voice. “I'm going to tell you about that,” he said. “I don't want to keep anything back.
“Look here!” he demanded, sliding along the bench toward McGregor and emphasising his points by slapping one hand down upon the other. “Ain't all children my children?” He paused, trying to gather his scattered thoughts into words. When McGregor started to speak he put his hand up as though to ward off a new thought or another question. “I'm not trying to dodge,” he said. “I'm trying to get thoughts that have been in my head day after day in shape to tell. I haven't tried to express them before. I know men and women cling to their children. It's the only thing they have left of the dream they had before they married. I felt that way. It held me for a long time. It would be holding me now only that the violins pulled so hard at me.”
He threw up his hand impatiently. “You see I had to find an answer. I couldn't think of being a skunk—running away—and I couldn't stay. I wasn't intended to stay. Some men are intended to work and take care of children and serve women perhaps but others have to keep trying for a vague something all their lives—like me trying for a tone on a violin. If they don't get it it doesn't matter, they have to keep trying.
“My wife used to say I'd get tired of it. No woman ever really understands a man caring for anything except herself. I knocked that out of her.”
The little man looked up at McGregor. “Do you think I'm a skunk?” he asked.