3. Marriage.
A. The marriage contract. From certain scattered scraps of information on the subject that have incidentally come to the writer’s knowledge during the past forty years, it would seem that marriage by capture was largely, if not universally, in vogue among the Kacháris in earlier days. Some traces of this practice would seem to survive in the ordinary marriage ceremonial which still to a large extent holds the field. A case somewhat of this character came to the writer’s knowledge some twenty-five or thirty years ago. A young Kachári, employed as a village pandit some thirty miles from Tezpur, carried off a girl from the house of her parents some ten miles away. No actual violence apparently occurred in the matter, and very likely there had existed for some time previously a private understanding between the two young people concerned. But what was done clearly had not the approval of the girl’s parents; for these latter laid a complaint on the subject before the writer, and claimed redress for the wrong done to them. When the offending pandit was called to account for his conduct, he simply pleaded in defence that what he had done was quite in accordance with the time-honoured custom of his forefathers: and on payment of the usual bride-price, at a somewhat enhanced rate, the parents raised no further objection to their daughter’s union with the pandit.
But in modern times “marriage by capture” is rapidly passing out of vogue, if indeed it be not already absolutely a thing of the past; and the marriage contract is usually entered into in one of the four following ways:—
(a) The young people occasionally take the matter into their own hands, as in the case above mentioned, ignoring the wishes of their parents on either side. This procedure is looked upon by the community as blameworthy and irregular, but not invalid. The bride’s parents claim an immediate payment of Rs. 5/- from the bridegroom, and also exact the bride-price at a higher rate than usual. But if these conditions are duly complied with, no further objections are as a rule made to the union.
(b) The more usual practice is as follows. When the son of the house attains a marriageable age, i.e., from fifteen to twenty years, his parents at once set to work to find a suitable bride for him. Having made their choice, they pay a visit to the prospective bride’s parents, taking with them certain presents in the form of rice, liquor, betel-nuts, &c., and formally ask the daughter’s hand for their son. If the presents are accepted by the girl’s parents, it is assumed that the proposal is favourably received, and the respective parents at once proceed to settle the amount of the bride-price (gádhan),[12] which is always paid by the bridegroom’s family to the parents of the bride. In Darrang the amount so paid rarely exceeds Rs. 40/- to Rs. 60/-, though in Kamrup and Goalpara it is said to be often double these sums; and even larger still among the Rábhás, Saraniyás, &c. In paying this formal visit to the prospective bride’s parents, those of the bridegroom are always accompanied by some of the elders or leading men of their own village, these latter acting as witnesses of the marriage contract, and so constituting in their own persons a very effective, if irregular, system of marriage registration. The stipulated “bride-price” need not be paid at once, nor does the actual union take place for some months after the marriage-contract has been entered into. And in no case does the bride leave her parents’ home until puberty has been attained; so that the manifold and obvious evils inseparable from the system of infant betrothals, and the prohibition of the marriage of child-widows among the higher castes of Hindus, happily find no place whatever in the more wholesome domestic life of the Kacháris.
(c) In cases where the bridegroom or his parents are unable to pay the bride-price demanded by the girl’s parents, it is usual for the young man to give the equivalent in personal service in the house of the bride’s parents, much as Jacob[13] served in Laban’s house seven years for Rachel. The period of service is a matter of arrangement between the parents of the parties concerned, and seems to vary greatly, i.e., from three or four to upwards of twelve or fifteen years. Cohabitation, however, is allowed after about twelve or eighteen months’ service, and at the conclusion of the full period, the young people are free to depart whithersoever they will, though they usually return to the house of the bridegroom’s parents. This form of service is known commonly as “Olaó ghar-jiyá.”
(d) A modification of the above form of service is that which is known as “mál ghar-jiya” (Darrang) or “Khasrot-tháka ghar-jiya” (Kamrup). In this case the prospective bridegroom severs all connection with his own family, and identifies himself completely with that of his bride, in whose house he serves until the death of her parents, when with his wife he is entitled to the whole or the usual share of their property. On that of his own parents or relatives he retains no claim whatever.
The actual ceremony of marriage among the Kacháris can perhaps hardly be looked upon as of a religious character, but must be regarded as more of the nature of a social and festive gathering. The order of proceedings is somewhat as follows:—On a fixed day a party of the bridegroom’s friends, numbering some four or five women and thirty or forty men, set out for the house of the bride’s parents or guardians. The bridegroom may himself accompany the party but more frequently does not. The immediate object of the journey is to bring the bride to the bridegroom’s house. The party take with them nine loads of viands, i.e., two men carry a pig, other two a large jar containing rice-liquor, four men carry loads of támal-pan, whilst the last man carries a quantity of eatables meant for the men and cowherds, who, it is supposed, might otherwise attempt to prevent the marriage party from reaching the bride’s house. Two women called bairati are in charge of these materials for the wedding feast.[14] On reaching the bride’s house her people pour freely on the whole party an irritating liquid known as kachu páni (water mixed with the juice of the kachu plant) and to this somewhat rough welcome the bridegroom’s party are bound to submit without complaining, although the liquid causes much irritation to, and even blisters, the skin. Finally the good things brought by the bridegroom’s party are taken charge of by the bride’s people, and the wedding feast is forthwith duly prepared. The village elders sit in front of the assembly, often a large one, and the younger people behind, each guest having in front of him either a brass plate or (more usually) a plantain leaf. On each of these plates the bride places a quantity of rice and curry, serving the elders first; and when all are duly provided for she makes obeisance to the assembled company, and sometimes kneels in their midst for their sanction and approval on entering upon the duties of married life, her husband when present kneeling with her. Then one of the village elders, acting as Deori, makes a short address on the obligations of the married state, ending by wishing every blessing, &c., to the newly wedded pair, the whole assembly joining in at the end with one voice “erŏina záthang,” i.e., “so may it be,” (Amen). The rest of the day is spent in feasting and merry-making, but towards evening the bride is formally taken to the bridegroom’s house. If on the journey she has to cross a river, road, or embankment (áli), &c., she is given at each such crossing nine areca nuts and nine pan-leaves as presents to overcome her assumed reluctance to proceed further. (Perhaps another relic of the “marriage by capture” practice.) Before the bride enters the bridegroom’s house, those who bring her are entitled to receive a jar of molasses as well as one of rice-liquor, and are hospitably entertained for the night. It is said that Kachári custom sanctions a certain interval of time, sometimes amounting to five days, between the bride’s entering her husband’s house and the consummation of the marriage. All expenses attending the marriage festival, which may extend to Rs. 200/- and upwards, are borne by the family of the bridegroom, the bride’s people as a rule contributing nothing.