But what becomes of those Troops? said the King. They are disbanded, I reply'd. That's well, continu'd he, for the Ease of the People; but are Men who are accustom'd in War-time to a licentious way of living, and undoubtedly to all sorts of Pleasures, are such fit for any other Imployment? and how do they subsist when their Pay is at an end? I have already told your Majesty, said I, that there's an infinite Number of Countries in the World, govern'd by different Princes, so that when Troubles are over in one Place, they generally begin again in another, to which the Soldiers repair for Employment; or else they return home to their Callings. I confess, however, that there's a great Number, who having lost the Spirit of Industry, or not knowing any Trade to follow, beg from Door to Door with their Wives and Children (and if they dy'd in the Wars, their Widows and Orphans do the same), or else abandon themselves to ill Courses for a better Livelihood. Some rob upon the Highway, others coin Money, and some keep company with lewd Women, whom they help to ruine, and sometimes to murder such as haunt the Stews. In short, there are no Intrigues but what they commit to support their idle Courses, which obliges honest People to take very great care that they ben't gull'd by them, as they but too often are. I could confirm this Truth by a hundred shocking Instances, but one shall suffice at present, to give you an Idea of the rest.
About eight Months before I left Paris, that famous City, which is the Metropolis of the finest Kingdom in Europe, a Counsellor of the Parliament travelling in his Coach, in a By-Street, where there was but little Trade, spy'd a very pretty young Woman at a distance, who by extending her Arms, joining her Hands, and lifting up her Eyes sometimes to Heaven, and then calling them down to the Earth, gave Proofs that she was in some very great Agonies of Grief. The Noise of the Coach-Wheels and the Horses, made her stop all of a sudden, so that she immediately wiped her Face, and with a slow Pace walk'd on. The Counsellor, who soon overtook her, halted, and ask'd her very civilly, what was the Matter. I see, said he, you have been weeping plentifully, has any Disaster happen'd to your Family? Speak freely, you are happily fallen into good Hands; there are many People who would take an Advantage of the Confusion you are in, but from me you have nothing to fear. I am a frank honest Man, of some Reputation, and if I can be of Service to you in any thing, I will exert my self with all the Zeal I'm capable of. Tho' the Girl was no more than sixteen or seventeen Years old, she put on a serious Air at first, and held it out stifly for a long time, that she ail'd nothing, that she did not want his Protection, tho' however she was oblig'd to him for the Offer, and that all she desired of him was, that he would let her proceed. But at length, after many Intreaties, which were the real Effect of the Gentleman's compassionate Temper, the young Woman falling again into Tears, which she could refrain no longer, said to him, You are in the right, Sir, I am not my self, I am disorder'd in my Mind, I run up and down like one mad, and am within an Ace sometimes of making away with my self. I am the only Daughter of a Father who perfectly ador'd me. My Will was a Law to him, which he took a Pleasure in observing, whatever it was; so that I never ask'd him any thing but he immediately granted it. But about a Twelvemonth ago, when he was in the Prime of his Years, God call'd him to himself, at which time the Thoughts of our Separation gave him a thousand times more Uneasiness than the Prospect of Death. He was so loth to leave me, that he recommended me, in the most earnest manner, to the Care of his Wife, my Mother-in-law, who promis'd him whatever he desir'd, embrac'd me in his Presence, and swore by an Oath, accompany'd with a Torrent of Tears, that I should for ever have a Share in her tenderest Friendship. But alas! my poor Father had scarce clos'd his Eyes, when she began to tyrannize over me in such a manner, that there is scarce a Moment but she insults and threatens me; from Menaces she often proceeds to Blows; and this very Day, after having us'd me extremely ill, she turn'd me out of Doors. That's bad indeed, said the Counsellor; you have reason, without dispute, to complain; come into my Coach, if you please; I must make you Friends, if possible, or at least know what's the Cause of such a dangerous Quarrel. She express'd a Reluctance against taking him home with her; she was very fearful of being seen, and her Mother-in-law's Indignation made her tremble; but she was fain to comply at last. The Widow's House made a goodly Appearance, and was separated from the Street by a strong Wall, and a large Yard before the Door. The Counsellor having sent in to know whether the Gentlewoman was at leisure, was carry'd into a fine Hall, hung with Tapestry, to which Madam came in a Moment. He was surpris'd to find her a tall handsome Woman, about fifty Years of Age, with a sweet engaging Countenance, and the Porte of a Queen, rather than the Widow of a private Man. After mutual Compliments, he gave her an exact Account of what had pass'd betwixt him and her Daughter, shew'd her what would be the Consequence, and having begg'd her Pardon for the Liberty he took to intermeddle in an Affair which was properly Domestic, he intreated her very courteously to tell him the Reason of the Difference. The old Lady thank'd him for the kind Concern he shew'd for her Family, and did not spare to reproach her Daughter-in-law; but at length, in Complaisance to the Arbitrator, Miss was sent for in, restor'd to Madam's good Graces, and they made reciprocal Promises, the one to be very obedient for the future, the other to be more indulgent, and to shew all the tender Regard that a Mother is capable of to a Child of her own, which was very much to the Satisfaction of the Counsellor, who was glad at his Heart that he had been so successful a Mediator. Then the Daughter was order'd to withdraw, and Madam took that Opportunity to confess her vast Obligation to the Counsellor. She earnestly intreated him to bring her into the Acquaintance of his Lady, that she might have more Opportunities of being benefited by his wholesome Counsels: She hop'd he would vouchsafe to honour her with his Company at Dinner, the rather because the Cloth was already laid, and as she had invited some Friends, she was the better prepar'd to regale him with three or four good Dishes. This Compliment was utter'd with so good a Grace, that the Counsellor gave his Consent, order'd his Coachman to go home and tell his Family not to wait for him, and bid him return again with the Coach in two Hours. Mean time the Lady, with his Leave, retir'd to give Orders concerning the Dinner. As he was walking alone, expecting her Return, he accidentally struck his Elbow against the Hangings, and found a void Space, which excited his Curiosity to lift them up, when, to his great Astonishment, he saw the naked Corps of a Man all bloody, who seem'd to have been but lately murder'd, extended at full length upon a Bed of Straw contriv'd in the Wall. This horrid Spectacle, which threaten'd him with the like Fate, made him run precipitantly out of the Room, and when he was got into the middle of the Yard, some body saw him and call'd to him, intreating him to have a little Patience, adding, that the old Lady would be with him in a Trice, that every thing was ready to be serv'd up, &c. But all these fine Words could not stop him. He told them, as he ran out, that something was just come into his Head which would admit of no Delay, that he would be back again almost as soon as gone, and that fall to as soon as they pleas'd, there would be enough left for him. Just as he was got out of the Gate, who shou'd enter but four great cut-throat Villains, who were hir'd no doubt to reward him for his good Offices; but they came a little too late, so that the honest Man escap'd the Snare that was laid for him, and the old Bawd and the young Whore had the Mortification to find that they had acted their Parts in vain.
Verily, said the King, that was a Stratagem deep enough to have caught the wisest Man in the World; but what was the Consequence of it? Was no Search made after the Criminals, that they might be punish'd for an Example to such Ruffians? None at all, said I. People who are too busy upon such Occasions, generally come off very scurvily. The Gangs of those Villains are so numerous, that the least Disturbance you give any one of 'em, is sure to be doubly reveng'd sooner or later, by the rest of them, either by Day or by Night, upon you and yours, in one manner or another. And is this all that you get, said the King, by the Wars to which you are expos'd? I pity your Fate; for at this rate you are only a Prey to the Wicked, and wretched Victims to the Ambition and Self-Interest of your Sovereigns. The very Dogs have a better time on't in my Country, than Men have in yours. You reason upon your own Principles, said I, and we act according to ours: Every one thinks his own Opinion the best, and is offended with those that differ from him. 'Tis true, he reply'd, that Education has a great Ascendant over our Minds. Our Ancestors would have been content to be sacrificed rather than admit of the least Doubt of the Excellence of their Origin. The Sun had engender'd them, as they believ'd, and the Earth had brought them forth; but now, a Man would be sent to the Mines that should go about to maintain that Opinion. What we suck in with our Milk, we retain; the first Lessons of our Preceptors are the most prevalent, and take such deep Root, that the Winds of a contrary Opinion are not able to shake them.
But as to your Ancestors, said I, were they all so ignorant of the Nature of Things, that not one of them doubted of the Reality of this pretended miraculous Birth? For, in short, nothing can be more obvious than the impossibility of the Union of the Sun with the Earth, and that those two inanimate Creatures, being destitute of Understanding and Thought, are incapable of the Effects which are so absurdly ascrib'd to them. Indeed, said the King, there were some of a contrary Opinion, but no body durst declare it, because if they had, the Populace were so prepossess'd in favour of this idle Notion, that they would have been ready to have cut 'em in pieces. Besides, the Kings, every now and then, made use of a very extraordinary Stratagem to put them out of the World, which contributed not a little to fortify the others in their Opinion. They had contriv'd a subterraneous Passage from the Palace to the Temple, under this Footstool, where there was a great deep Well, and when any Person was accus'd of having said any thing tending to invalidate the Mystery of the Birth of the first Man, which was accounted no less than Blasphemy, he was oblig'd to appear before the Court, where the Governors never fail'd to condemn him to the Mines: But the King, in order to be reputed a merciful Prince, immediately revok'd the Sentence, on pretence that it had not been pass'd in due Form, and according to the Rules of Equity, and order'd the Assembly to repair to the Senate at Midnight, with all that had a mind to be Spectators, nor did he fail to be upon his Throne at the Time appointed. Then one of his Sons, Brothers, or nearest Kindred, brought the Criminal before him, with his Hands ty'd behind his Back, and made him sit upon the Footstool just now mentioned: And the King, with his Eyes fix'd on the Ground, pronounc'd four Verses with a loud Voice, in which, after applauding the Justice of his Mother Earth, he call'd on her instantly to swallow up either of the two that was most guilty in the Sight of Heaven.
At that same time, a Person that lay conceal'd under the Stage, unbolted a Trap-Door made on purpose in the Footstool, and the poor Victim sunk down all at once into the deep Well underneath, which was done so suddenly and dexterously, that the Door was shut again as soon as open'd, so that it was hardly to be perceiv'd. Nevertheless, in order to play their Game sure, they took care that the Place should not be very much illuminated; besides, as the Footstool was plac'd high, the Governors and others present, who were sitting or kneeling, could not well see what pass'd above, where, one of those concern'd in the Secret, pretending as if he saw the Earth open, made a great Noise, started back, and cry'd out as loud as if he was really afraid of being swallow'd up alive with the guilty Person.
But how were those Impostures discover'd, said I? The King's Priests, reply'd Bustrol, seeing their Master banish'd, and the Face of Affairs quite chang'd, propos'd, on condition that they might not be punish'd, to discover every pernicious Thing they knew, for they were not only privy to the Secret, but engag'd by an Oath to assist in those cruel Executions. The subterraneous Passage is still in being, and when you please I'll shew it to you. As to the Well, it is quite fill'd up, and the Trap-Door was chang'd with the rest, and made a Part of the Cieling.
Another Imposture which was carry'd on several Centuries, is this. When there happen'd to be any great Debates betwixt the Sovereign and his Subjects, which threaten'd his Family with some fatal Revolution, a Person who could be trusted with the Secret, us'd to steal up into the Dome, between the Cupola and the Cieling, where, when the Council was assembled, he bawl'd out as loud as he could, thro' a Hole made for the Purpose, which answer'd the Centre of the Copper Sun in the middle of the Edifice, My Son is righteous, and you are wicked. This Voice, which rattled over their Heads like Thunder, was extremely surprising to the Assembly, and never fail'd of the desired Effect. Some of them perhaps might have a Suspicion, but the Generality were ready to swear that those Words were utter'd by the Sun himself; and perhaps they would not have suffer'd any Man that had but seem'd to entertain the least Suspicion, to have gone unpunish'd.
CHAP. X.
Containing the Ceremonies at the Births and Burials in this Country, the manner of administring Justice, and many other Remarkables.