The Travels and Adventures of James Massey

by Simon Tyssot de Patot

Ten Days after this, I put my Crucibles on the Fire, and tho' I was stripp'd as it were to my Shirt, I was in such a Heat with blowing and stirring that no Vermilion was redder than my Face. Mean time my Servant ran to Mascado's House to inform him what was doing, on pretence that I had sent him out to buy some Drams of Aqua Regalis, so that the one was scarce return'd but the other came to ask if I was at Home. The Maid who then happen'd to be at the Gate, came and knock'd at my Door telling my Man that some Body wanted to speak with me, and that she had told him I was in my Chamber. I pretended to be angry with her for it, and sent out the Footman to tell him that I was not to be spoke with. The Jew made a Pish at that, and entering bluntly into my Room, I beg your Pardon, Sir, said he, you have been so retir'd since your Conversion that I thought you was engag'd in some Act of Devotion, and for fear that too much of it might throw you into a Fit of Melancholy and give you the Vapours, which it seems you were lately afflicted with, I took the Liberty of bolting in without being introduc'd, on purpose to chat with you for an Hour, and to invite you to spend the Evening at my House. But what are you doing here? continued he. Are you turn'd Chymist? What have you there in those Crucibles? Upon my Faith, I believe you are in quell of the Philosopher's Stone. Let us call another Cause, said I, seeming to be very much confounded: We must be doing something or other while we live in this World; and other Things I said, of which 'tis needless to give you our Dialogue. But after many Circumlocutions, and upon Condition he would not speak of it, the Conclusion was that I had the Art of multiplying Gold. To be plain with you, said he, I was surpriz'd to see how expensively you liv'd without any visible Way to maintain it, or speaking to any Body to help you to Money. But is your Art certain, and does it never fail? The next Time that I go to work, said I, you shall see an Experiment of it.

Some Days after this I appointed a Time, and bade him bring me ten Ducats. He cast those ten Pieces of Gold into one of my Crucibles, and I threw my Powder of Multiplication into the other. Then I mix'd the whole, and stirr'd it well with a hollow Rod of Iron into which I had put Gold-Dust to the Value of fifty Livres, having stopp'd it up with a little Wax, which immediately melted, so that the Gold-Dust ran out, and augmented the Mass of Metal which he himself had thrown in. The Time fix'd for the Operation being expir'd, I put into his Hands the little Ingot that resulted from the Mixture which he carry'd immediately to his Friend the Goldsmith, who told him that it was the best Gold that ever came out of a Furnace. He was charm'd with the Secret, and would have persuaded me to work at it every Day. I told him that I had already Money enough by me for my present Occasions, that it was time enough for me to work when I wanted more, and that as long as I had no House nor Family, I should not be solicitous for amassing a great deal of Wealth; besides, that it was very difficult to get the Powder I made use of, and that a Man endangers his Health in the Operation unless he has a great Laboratory, and all the Tools fit for a Work of such Importance. You long Gentlemen, no doubt, to hear all these Particulars, but to cut the matter short by omitting many others, which perhaps would not be disagreeable at another Time, they did not put me under the Necessity of starting the Affair of the Marriage, for there were certain Matchmakers that propos'd it to me themselves. I was willing that every thing should be done in form, and being sure of my Point, I demanded the fair Jew of her Parents who granted her to me with Marks of entire Satisfaction, and took me immediately into their House.

We had not been marry'd long before my Father-in-law began to talk to me of the main Chance. You have a Talent, Son, said he, which ought not to be bury'd, let us be doing while we have the Means, and get Estates for ourselves and our Posterity, I immediately gave into his Sentiment, and we resolv'd to erect our Laboratory at his Country-House six Miles out of Town, that we might work without being disturb'd or observ'd. But my Multiplication Powder was all spent, more must be prepar'd, and because it would take up Time, and could not be done without great Charge and Trouble, we resolv'd to make enough of it at once as should serve for a Million of Ducats. Thereupon I gave him a List of the Drugs of which the Composition was to consist, of which the greatest Ingredient was Mercury. Then I made him believe that I must have Bay-Salt, Mineral-Salt, Antimony, the Seed of Pearls, Coral, the Ashes of a Heifer, Hartshorn, and the Horn of a Unicorn, the Eyes of a Lobster, Elephants Tooth, Dragon's Blood, Eagle's Claws, Birds of Paradise, the Beaks of American Parrots, the Heads of Vipers, the Bones of a Camel, the Tail of a Crocodile, the Head of a Porpoise, the Rib of a Whale, all the Metals, and most of the Minerals; I told him likewise that a certain determin'd Quantity of each of these must be infus'd three Days in Sheep's Urine mix'd with one third in Proportion of the Dung of a Grey Cow, which had been steep'd in the Water of the Rhine the space of nine Days, which is the Square of Number 3; and the Cubic Number of that same Quantity, viz. 27 Days or a Periodical Month, was the Time requisite for calcinating the whole Mass, and reducing it by, a slow Fire to this pretended Powder of Projection.

All this did not daunt the Good Man. His Hopes of great Gain made him think that easy, which another would have thought impracticable. The Business was where to get the Ingredients I desir'd. Some of them were to be had at Avignon and Parts adjacent, and the rest must be fetch'd from Holland, where in short there is something of every Thing in the World. I afterwards gave him to understand, that Gold after it had once pass'd thro' my Hands could not be multiply'd any more, and that therefore he must get a great Sum of Money together either by borrowing it upon Interest, or of some Friends who would be very glad to be let into a Share of the Profits. The Goldsmith being the first Man to whom he imparted the Secret, desir'd him to take 500 Loui-dors of him on what Terms he pleas'd. Several others did the same, but all under the Rose, and upon Oath not to reveal it to any Body whatsoever, not even to their Wives, so that not one Man knew any thing of what was transacted with another. As fast as the Gold came in, it was carry'd to the Country-House where I was often employ'd in putting Things in order.

At last when I saw every Thing was ready, I said to my Father-in-law and my Wife, that I would now go and put the last Hand to the Work; but that as it requir'd a great deal of Application, and as I should want at least three Days for it, I desir'd 'em not to come and interrupt me in the mean while; and then seizing a Cabinet in which there were Jewels to the Value of at least 60000 Livres, I went to the Farm, and rising early next Morning, I took all the Money, and said to the Farmer that an Affair of the last Importance, and which I did not think of before, calling me to Arles, if my Wife happen'd to come three or four Days hence as she promis'd she would, I begg'd him to assure her from me that I would make as much Dispatch as I could, and mounting my Horse I bade him Farewel. As soon as I was out of the Countryman's Ken, I turn'd off another Way and rode to Lions.

When I arriv'd at that famous Town, the Marquis de Villeneuve happened to come and sup at the Inn where I lodg'd, and wanted to be acquainted with me. I told him that I was a Dutchman of the Family of Wassenaar, and a Cornet in the Service of their High-Mightinesses, but that having had the Misfortune to fight a Duel with, and kill an Ensign of the Prince of Orange's Regiment of Guards, who was of a very good Family, I had been oblig'd to fly my Country for fear of the Consequences, but that to my Comfort I did not come away empty-handed, nor without good Bills of Credit, upon which the Gentleman was extremely civil to me. I know your Family, Sir, said he, 'tis considerable in the Netherlands, and to shew you that I have an Esteem for it, if you will be at the Expence of raising a Company in a Regiment of Horse which I am going to form, it shall be your own Fault if you be not the Captain; I am going to Court, whither we will travel together, and I'll engage to make you acceptable to the King. I take you at your Word Mr. Marquise, said I, and pulling a Diamond of 500 Crowns off of my little Finger, which I had taken out of the Cabinet I ran away with, and at which the Colonel blink'd several times, there, said I, is a Present for you to bind the Bargain. Next Day I bespoke a Sute of Clothes lac'd to the Value of a hundred Pistoles, sold my Horse, got a Valet de Chambre, and having furnish'd my self with all Necessaries we took the Stage-Coach for Paris.

We had not been there long, but my Patron procur'd me a Commission, and press'd me earnestly to lose no time in railing my Company. M. de St. John, who was my Lieutenant, advis'd me to go with him toward Joinville in Champaigne, where he had great Acquaintance, and we might be sure of finding Men and Horses at a reasonable Rate. We had been there actually scarce six Weeks when our Levies were almost full. But besides the excessive Charge I was at in every respect, it was my Misfortune to be known by that Rascal, my Footman, of Avignon, whom I had not paid as I ought for his Trouble, and who being of this Country happen'd to see me. The Knave, as well from a Principle of Revenge, as in Hopes of a handsom Reward from my Wife, immediately sent Advice of it to Mascado. This cunning Jew was so expeditious, and made such a powerful interest, that I was not only apprehended and clapp'd in Prison soon after, but being accused and convicted of the most consummate Roguery, I was stripp'd of all I had, and condemned for my Life to the Galleys.

Here, Gentlemen, continu'd Peter Heudde, was the Period of my infamous course of Life, by which you perceive that I have been a long time in Slavery. The Pleasures I have tasted are not equal to the Pains which I have endur'd on their Account. But the Governor of all Things wou'd have it so; and I bear his Chastisements with Patience, 'till he is so gracious as to put an End to them. We lamented his unhappy Fate, and Mr. Elliot giving him a Crown, assur'd him that he wou'd endeavour to do him Service. We wou'd fain have known where this unfortunate Person was born and his Extraction, but he wou'd not tell us, so that we retir'd in Admiration of the wife Dealings of the Almighty with his Creatures both good and bad.

I car'd so little for Algier while I stay'd there, and had so little Curiosity to traverse the Town, that I was surpriz'd when I was out at Sea to discover Beauties there which I cou'd not have thought of. This charming City is situate in form of an Amphitheatre upon the Declivity of a high Mountain, so that you may see it all at one View, tho' 'tis large and contains above 100000 Inhabitants. But there was no returning to view it, nor indeed did I much care for it. The Weather was agreeable, and we had so happy a Voyage that I did not see the least Inconveniency. At length I arriv'd at London, that famous magnificent City (whose Lustre eclipses every thing that I had seen) the fourth of May 1694, in my seventy third Year, but strong and vigorous for one of my Age.

The first thing I thought of was a new Sute of Clothes, because I was not willing to let my Friends see me in the Garb I had on then. My Landlord talk'd French and I desir'd him to send for a Tailor who likewise understood that Language. The Tailor came and carry'd me to a Refugee Merchant's Shop, where, while we were viewing the Stuffs, there came in a Man, who, as soon as he had seen me, and heard that I had been a Slave in Barbary, was taken with a Bleeding at the Nose, which could not be staunch'd 'till he had lost above twenty Ounces of Blood. Every one try'd the Remedies he knew, but when I saw that all was to no purpose, and that they actually talk'd of sending for a Surgeon to open a Vein, I took his little Finger on that Side as the Nostril was that bleeded, and ty'd it very hard with a Needle-full of Thread between the Nail and the first Joint. This Remedy which never fail'd, tho' few Persons know how to use it, had its Effect, and was admir'd by the Company. The Merchant who knew the Man, call'd for a Glass of Brandy, and taking it out of his Maid's Hands, said, Here, Mr. Massey, 'tis necessary that you take some of these Spirits towards supplying what you have now lost.