That night and morning had been the beginning of two months of fear that haunted me like the terrible figments of a nightmare. At first, the number of investigations that suggested themselves, among the people in the store and among Margaret’s friends, had kept my mind occupied and kept hope alive that nothing serious had happened to the child. Then there had been the hospitals to search and city officials to interview, to say nothing of social workers and charitable organizations. Mrs. Furneau spent days with me, helping in the search. But as time passed and we could learn nothing, despair settled on me like a choking cloud, and with it an unreasonable sense of resentment towards Mrs. Furneau for her part in it all. I did my best to conceal it; but her intuition must have told her that there was something wrong, and after a week or so she gave up the search and I continued my efforts alone.
But the days grew into weeks and the combined efforts of the police, the best detective agencies in the country, and every other agency that money and determination could press into the service, failed to find a shadow of a trace, until at length other crimes and an epidemic of disappearances among young Society girls distracted their attention and I continued the search alone.
Hope dies hard; and there was always the chance that the child might make her way home again, or that I might hear of her or from her in some roundabout way; for at least her body had not been found. But after two months of utterly unsuccessful search, almost continuous by day and night, I was pretty desperate now, standing up there on the roof of the building in New York in which I had taken an apartment.
Everything else had been dropped and I had moved to New York. I had been in queer places and seen queer sights during those eight weeks. I had pierced the outer, commonplace integument of a great city—the shifting scene of blank, reserved humanity that meets the casual eye—and had been caught up and swept nearly off my feet once or twice in the seething welter of passion and crime that swells and ebbs beneath the city’s impassive exterior.
But of the slip of a girl I sought and now almost dreaded to find I could learn—nothing.
Stretching away below me as I watched, the city crouched purring, like some great animal motionless and watchful. I hated it actively for what it had done to me, longing to tear out its secret by violence, if need be. But after a while sanity slowly returned and the momentary madness faded. I can only say in excuse that the gnawing anxiety of those two months must have somewhat undermined a pretty normal point of view.
But with returning sanity came a slow resolve. Up to now I had been seeking blindly, with no plan—no definite aim, no thought of the future. From now on I vowed that my life should be given up to the search; that nothing should interfere with it; that only death or success should put an end to it. The resolve brought me a curious sense of peace. That much I could do—even though it were all I could do. But that much should be done.
With the thought I turned away from the parapet to go to my rooms below and try to lay out some sort of a campaign for the future. As I turned a touch fell upon my arm and I found Larry standing beside me. In the dim light from the open doorway that led to the roof I could detect the half-veiled pity in his eyes.
I had acquired Larry a couple of weeks before, or rather had had him more or less thrust upon me, and had not regretted it.
Early in the search I bought a small light car and scoured the city night after night in it, in the hope of catching a glimpse of Margaret. One night I had been driving slowly along the Bowery. It was very late and the long, wide, cobbled street under the L structure was deserted. But as I came to a corner, Larry darted out of a side street, yanked open the rear door of the car and dropped into the obscurity of the tonneau behind me, with “For God’s sake, d‑r‑r‑rive on, sor. It’s half a dozen of them gangsters is after me!”