“Why—uh—um—uh—how do you mean?” Father observed.
“Yes, I heard how you folks ’ve tramped from there. How is it, nice climate out there?”
“Why, it’s pretty nice—orange groves ’most everywhere. Nice climate,” said Father, avoiding Mother’s accusing look and desperately hoping she wouldn’t feel moved to be veracious and virtuous.
“Hey, Mamie, here’s the old couple that ’ve tramped clear from San Francisco,” bawled the saloon-keeper.
A maternal German woman, with a white apron of about the proportions of a cup defender’s mainsail, billowed into the room, exclaimed over Mother’s wet feet, provided dry stockings and felt slippers for her, and insisted on stuffing both of them with fried eggs and potato salad. The saloon-keeper and a select coterie of farmers asked Father questions about San Francisco, Kansas, rainy seasons, the foot-and-mouth disease, irrigation, Western movie studios, and the extent of Mormonism. Father stuck pretty closely to a Sunday-newspaper description of the Panama-Pacific Exposition for answers to everything, and satisfied all hands to such an extent that they humbly asked him how much danger there was of a Japanese invasion of the Philippines, and how long did he think the great European war would last.
Abashed, prickly with uncomfortableness, Father discovered that the saloon-keeper was taking up a collection for them. It was done very quietly, and the man slipped a dollar and fifteen cents into his hand in so casual a manner, so much as though he were merely making change, that Father took it and uneasily thrust it into his pocket. He understood the kindly spirit of it because he himself was kindly. He realized that to these stay-at-homes the Applebys’ wandering was a thing to revere, a heroism, like prize-fighting or religion or going to war. But he didn’t psychologize about it. He believed in “the masses” because he belonged to the masses.
As a matter of fact, Father had very little time to devote to meditation when they hit the road again. He was busy defending himself while Mother accused him of having lied scandalously. He protested that he had never said that he had been to San Francisco; they had made that mistake themselves.
“Now don’t you go trying to throw dust in my eyes. I just won’t have this lying and prevaricating and goings-on. I’m just going to— What’s the matter, Seth? You’re limping. Are your feet cold?”
And that was the end of Mother’s moral injunctions, for Father, with a most unworthy cunning, featured the coldness of his feet till she had exhausted her vocabulary of chiropodal sympathy, after which he kept her interested in the state of his ears, his hands, and the tip of his nose. She patted him consolingly, and they toiled on together, forgetting in the closeness of their comradeship the strangeness of being on an unknown road, homeless, as a chilly sunset spread bands of cold lemon and gray across the enormous sky, and all decent folk thought of supper.
Then everything went wrong with the wandering Innocents.