Rambles on Railways

by Sir Cusack P. Roney

“The scene in the refreshment room at Wolverton, on the arrival of every train, has so often been witnessed by our readers, that it need hardly be described. As these youthful handmaidens stand in a row behind bright silver urns, silver coffee pots, silver tea pots, cups, saucers, cakes, sugar, milk, with other delicacies over which they preside, the confused crowd of passengers simultaneously liberated from the train, hurry towards them with a velocity exactly proportionate to their appetites. The hungriest face first enters the door, ‘magnâ comitante catervâ,’ followed by a crowd very much resembling in eagerness and joyous independence the rush at the prorogation of Parliament of a certain body following their leader from one house to the bar of what they mysteriously call ‘another place.’ Considering that the row of young persons have among them all only seven right hands, with but very little fingers at the end of each, it is really astonishing how, with such slender assistance, they can in the short space of a few minutes manage to extend and to withdraw them so often; sometimes to give a cup of tea, sometimes to receive half-a-crown, of which they have to return two shillings, then to give an old gentleman a plate of warm soup, then to drop another lump of sugar into his nephew’s coffee cup, then to receive a penny for a bun, and then again threepence for four ‘lady’s fingers.’ It is their rule, as well as their desire, never, if they can possibly prevent it, to speak to anyone; and although sometimes, when thunder has turned the milk, or the kitchen-maid over-peppered the soup, it may occasionally be necessary to soothe the fastidious complaints of some beardless ensign by an infinitesimal appeal to the generous feelings of his nature, we mean, by the hundred-thousandth part of a smile, yet they endeavour on no account ever to exceed that harmless dose. But while they are thus occupied at the centre of the refreshment table, at its two ends, each close to a warm stove, a very plain matter-of-fact business is going on, which consists of the rapid uncorking of, and the emptying into large tumblers, innumerable black bottles of what is not inappropriately called ‘stout,’ inasmuch as all the persons who are drinking the dark foaming mixture, wear heavy great-coats, with large wrappers round their necks, in fact are very stout. We regret to have to add, that among these thirsty customers are to be seen, quite in the corner, several silently tossing off glasses of brandy, rum, and gin.

“But the bell is violently calling the passengers to ‘Come! come away!’ and as they have all paid their fares, and as the engine is loudly hissing—attracted by their pockets as well as by their engagements, they soon, like the swallows of the summer, congregate together, and then fly away.

“It appears from the books that the annual consumption at the refreshment room averages 182,500 Banbury cakes; 56,940 Queen’s cakes; 29,200 patés; 36,500 lbs. flour; 13,140 lbs. butter; 2,920 lbs. coffee; 43,800 lbs. meat; 5,110 lbs. currants; 1,277 lbs. tea; 5,840 lbs. loaf sugar; 5,110 lbs. moist sugar; 16,425 quarts of milk; 1,095 quarts of cream; 8,088 bottles of lemonade; 10,416 soda water; 45,012 stout; 25,692 ale; 5,208 ginger beer; 547 port; 2,095 sherry; 666 gin; 464 rum; 2,392 brandy. To the eatables are to be added or driven, the eighty-five pigs, who after having been from their birth most kindly treated and most luxuriously fed, are impartially promoted, by seniority, one after another, into an infinite number of pork pies.

“Having, in the refreshment sketch which we have just concluded, partially detailed at some length, the duties of the seven young persons at Wolverton, we feel it due to them, as well as to those of our readers who, we perceive, have not yet quite finished their tea, by a very few words to complete their history. It is never considered quite fair to pry into the private conduct of any one who performs his duty to the public with zeal and assiduity. The warrior and the statesman are not always immaculate; and although at the opera ladies certainly sing very high, and in the ballet kick very high, it is possible that their voices and feet may reach rather higher than their characters. Considering, then, the difficult duties which our seven young attendants have to perform—considering the temptations to which they are constantly exposed, in offering to the public attentions which are ever to simmer and yet never to boil; it might be expected that our inquiries should considerately go no further than the arrival at 11 p.m. of the ‘up York mail.’ The excellent matron, however, who has charge of these young people—who always dine and live at her table—with honest pride declares, that the breath of slander has never ventured to sully the reputation of any of those who have been committed to her charge; and as this testimony is corroborated by persons residing in the neighbourhood and very capable of observation, we cannot take leave of the establishment without expressing our approbation of the good sense and attention with which it is conducted; and while we give credit to the young ladies for the character they have maintained, we hope they will be gratefully sensible of the protection they have received.” Stokers and Pokers, by the author of “Bubbles from the Brunnen of Nassau.” London: John Murray, Albermarle Street, 1849.

[80] Ladies, it is sometimes dangerous to conceal your exact ages. We will give you a case in point, that only occurred in the summer of the present year. A lady, as far back as 1825, insured her life for the benefit of her relatives. She only died a few months ago; but on coming to compare her age, as given by herself at the time of effecting the insurance, with that on the certificate of births required by the office, to be obtained, after death, from the parish register, it was found that although the lady was in reality 42 years, in 1825, she only owned to 35, and paid premiums on that scale for 42 years. The office, had it been so disposed, might have declared the policy absolutely forfeited. It took a more generous course; the policy was admitted, as a claim, but from the amount that would have come to the legatees, if all had been in order, the difference of premium between 35 and 42, for 42 years, with interest and compound interest thereon, from the period that each premium became due, was deducted. The legatees thus received not more than half the nominal amount stated on the policy.

[81] Both ladies have since been married. “No cards.” Were we a newspaper proprietor, we should charge two and sixpence additional for the two last words of this announcement.

[82] Engineering, of September the 27th, and October the 4th, 1867, contains several extremely well executed views of some of the bridges and viaducts of the Highland Railway. “They are engraved,” says the Editor, “not because of any special peculiarities of their mechanical structure, but mainly on account of the fine character of the abutments and approaches; in short, the artistic qualities of their general design. For variety and originality, for pleasing outline and detail, and for their dignity and their harmony with the associations of the district traversed by the line, these bridges are admirable works in every respect. They have an artistic as distinguished from their merely material character, and they are, notwithstanding, economical structures.”

Mr. Joseph Mitchell, the engineer, by whom the line was constructed, read a paper descriptive of it at the Meeting of the British Association at Dundee in August last. This paper is given in full in Engineering of September the 13th.

[83] Great, and it is hoped successful, efforts are now making to connect the North-East and the North-West of Scotland by a line to be made from Dingwall, eighteen miles beyond Inverness and the most western station of the Highland Railway, through Strathpeffer to Loch Carron, a distance of fifty miles, whence there will be steam communication with the Isle of Skye. The Dingwall and Skye Railway Company has been formed some time, but now, in consequence of the amount of capital subscribed, and the liberality of the landowners, application is to be made for an Act of Parliament to authorise the construction of the line; Mr. Matheson, M.P., is the Chairman of the Company. At the conclusion of its half-yearly meeting, held on the 30th October last, Mr. Kenneth Murray proposed a vote of thanks to the Chairman, Mr. Matheson, M.P., and in doing so, expressed his most cordial good wishes for the prosperity of the Skye Line. “Every thing,” said Mr. Murray, “that lays in my power to promote it as a shareholder and otherwise, I feel it my duty as a Ross-shire man to do, and every one who has the interests of the North of Scotland, and of the people at heart, must sympathise with the efforts made to open up the distant West country. To Mr. Matheson, almost solely, the very high merit of having pushed forward the scheme is due, and I think he has very strong claim on every gentleman, whether proprietor, farmer, or minister even, that they should come forward and assist him in an object so very dear to him, as no line projected for a long time had such a claim on public sympathy and on the purse of the public.” Mr. Matheson, in returning thanks, expressed the hope that by 1870 passengers from Edinburgh and Glasgow might reach Postree, the capital of Skye, in about thirteen hours, and passengers from Inverness in about six hours.

[84] The following is an extract from a speech delivered in October, 1867, by the Rev. Dr. Guthrie, on the occasion of re-opening the parochial schools at Niddrie. “I was once present in a congregation in the town of Thurso, which contained as many as 1,200 people, and, perhaps, you will hardly believe me when I tell you that on that occasion I saw what I never saw before, and what, I am sure, you never saw, and what I hope I shall never see again—I saw 600 people asleep! 600 people asleep! I happened at the time to be living with Sir George Sinclair, a very excellent gentleman, who resides in the immediate neighbourhood of that town. I told him what I had seen in the church. “Oh,” said he, “that is nothing to what I have seen myself; I have seen in almost every pew the whole people asleep, with only here and there an exception.” The Rev. Doctor’s opinion is that the cause of drowsiness in church, during sermon time, is “bad ventilation.” No doubt—— of the subject.