During the rest of that day I could think of nothing but Maggie's child, and what was to become of it, and next morning when Emmerjane came up she told me that the "young minister" was "a-gettin' it into the 'ouse."
I think that was the last straw of my burden, for my mind came back with a swift rebound from Maggie Jones's child to my own.
The thought of leaving my baby behind now terrified and appalled me. It brought me no comfort to think that though I was poor my father was rich, for I knew that if he ever came to know of my child's existence he would hate it and cast it off, as the central cause of the downfall of his plans.
Yet Martin's child alone, and at the mercy of the world! It could not and must not be!
Then came a fearful thought. I fought against it. I said many "Hail Marys" to protect myself from it. But I could not put it away.
Perhaps my physical condition was partly to blame. Others must judge of that. It is only for me to say, in all truth and sincerity, what I felt and thought when I stood (as every woman who is to be a mother must) at the door of that dark chamber which is Life's greatest mystery.
I thought of how Martin had been taken from me, as Fate (perhaps for some good purpose still unrevealed) had led me to believe.
I thought of how I had comforted myself with the hope of the child that was coming to be a link between us.
I thought of the sweet hours I had spent in making my baby's clothes; in choosing her name; in whispering it to myself, yes, and to God, too, every night and every morning.
I thought of how day by day I had trimmed the little lamp I kept burning in the sanctuary within my breast where my baby and I lived together.