I allow, my dear father, that I am generally too sanguine in my expectations, too enthusiastic and lively in my ideas and descriptions; but yet remember I predict it—something must, and will yet be done effectual for me, by the Danish nobility and Baron de Lichtenstein. They are all conscious of and acquainted with my services; feeling satisfied of my zeal, capacity, and address, and extremely desirous of procuring me some reward, some sort of recompense for my dangers, fatigues, and endeavours. The Baron de Lichtenstein managed the whole affair, knows me, esteems me: knows her Majesty the queen's intentions of serving me with her brother: and, superadded to all this, he is vastly beloved by the king, who showed him a thousand marks of goodness when in England.
Attend the answer to their letters: they will come in three or four weeks. I cannot, indeed, answer for his Majesty's conduct in consequence of their recommendations; nor could I, even if the queen had recommended me: but I think I may rely on their warm endeavours to procure me some notice or reward from his Majesty; though what may be, whether greater or smaller, must depend on his gracious pleasure.
Undoubtedly, my dear sir, when I reflect on the so unexpected, so sudden, so critical death, of the poor, amiable, unhappy queen, I am covered with amazement, and own it is a lesson never to depend on anything. Could anything not actually done be surer? A young, gay, healthy woman, who had every appearance of long life, snatched away in four days, and buried ere we imagined she was ill. Probably, if I live to a hundred years, I shall never meet with another, so wondrous, so extraordinary an adventure, which is so incredible in its own nature, that I know not what to say to it.
No. 14.
LONDON, May 30, 1775.
I have received, my very dear father, a long and mournful letter from the Baron de Bülow himself. You will see from it how ready the nobility are to do any and every thing to conduce to my interests: how sensible they are of my zeal, capacity, and unwearied fidelity in the execution of their commands. I have already named the service, the only service, they can do me. I mean that of requesting Baron de Lichtenstein to write very strenuously in my favour to his Majesty. I shall reply to-morrow or next day to this letter, and condole with them on our common, heavy, and irreparable loss, in the dear, departed queen, and reiterate to them my urgent request of being recommended to his Majesty, as the only recompense I desire or ask. There is no shadow of doubt that they will do their part. There is no doubt in nature of Lichtenstein's doing his; but as to what notice our royal master may be pleased to take of their recommendation, or how far he may be graciously disposed to extend his favour or notice to this, I cannot presume or pretend to say, but must leave to futurity to determine. That I shall be reimbursed seems clear; but that's nothing. I aspire much beyond any pecuniary reward. Even if his Majesty should not now extend his munificence or protection to me, yet I am at least known to him by character and reputation. I have served without any reward his royal sister—I have claims—and some future time may give me opportunity to renew or make them good.
[It may be added that the Danish nobility wrote a letter to George III., in which they formally renounced and refused all repayment of the sums disbursed in the cause of the queen's restoration: which repayment was expressly stipulated by his Britannic Majesty, in the third article of the conditions which Mr. Wraxall carried over to Germany in February, 1775. They only asked that their agent might be honourably rewarded and employed. But it was all of no avail.]