"I have instructors and teachers with me." Now he is trying to build up a letter of some one; M. he shows me.
(A short time later, he said:—)
"People think I say I am happy in order to make them happier, but I don't.[9] I have met hundreds of friends. I don't know them all. I have met many who tell me that, a little later, they will explain why they are helping me. I feel I have got two fathers now. I don't feel I have lost one and got another; I have got both. I have got my old one, and another too—a pro tem. father."
(Here Feda ejaculated "What's that? Is that right?" O. J. L. replied 'Yes.')
There is a weight gone off his mind the last day or two; he feels brighter and lighter and happier altogether, the last few days. There was confusion at first. He could not get his bearings, didn't seem to know where he was. "But I was not very long," he says, "and I think I was very fortunate; it was not very long before it was explained to me where I was."
But the most remarkable indirect allusion, or apparent allusion, to something like the 'Faunus' message, came at the end of the sitting, after "Raymond" had gone, and just before Mrs. Leonard came out of trance:—
"He is gone, but Feda sees something which is only symbolic; she sees a cross falling back on to you; very dark, falling on to you; dark and heavy looking; and as it falls it gets twisted round and the other side seems all light, and the light is shining all over you. It is a sort of pale blue, but it is white and quite light when it touches you. Yes, that is what Feda sees. The cross looked dark, and then it suddenly twisted round and became a beautiful light. The cross is a means of shedding real light. It is going to help a great deal.
"Did you know you had a coloured Guide?... He says your son is the cross of light; he is the cross of light, and he is going to be a light that will help you; he is going to help too to prove to the world the Truth. That is why they built up the dark cross that turned to bright. You know; but others, they do so want to know. Feda is loosing hold; good-bye."
[This ends the O. J. L. first Leonard sitting of
27 September 1915.]