“How long have you known Bill Bushwhack?”
“Ever since he war born.”
“What is his general character?”
“Letter A, No. 1—’bove par a very great way.”
“Would you believe him on oath?”
“Yes, Sir-ee, on or off, or any other way.”
“What is your opinion on his qualifications to good conduct?”
“He’s the best shot on the prairies or in the woods; he can shave the eye-bristles off a wolf as far as a shootin’-iron’ll carry a ball; he can drink a quart of grog any day, and he chaws tobacker like a horse.”
So Bill Bushwhack passed muster.—N. Y. Spirit of the Times.
A little after 4 P.M. we forded the creek painfully with our new cattle—three rats and a slug. The latter was pronounced by our driver, when he condescended to use other language than anathemata, “the meanest cuss he ever seed.” We were careful, however, to supply him at the shortest intervals with whisky-drams, which stimulated him, after breaking his whip, to perform a tattoo with clods and stones, kicks and stamps, upon the recreant animals’ haunches, and by virtue of these we accomplished our twenty-five miles in tolerable time. For want of other pleasantries to contemplate, we busied ourselves in admiring the regularity and accuracy with which our consort wagon secured for herself all the best teams. The land was a THE RED REGION.red waste, such as travelers find in Eastern Africa, which after rains sheds streams like blood. The soil was a decomposition of ferruginous rock, here broken with rugged hills, precipices of ruddy sandstone 200 feet high, shaded or dotted with black-green cedars, there cumbered by huge boulders; the ravine-like water-courses which cut the road showed that after heavy rains a net-work of torrents must add to the pleasures of traveling, and the vegetation was reduced to the dull green artemisia, the azalia, and the jaundiced potentilla. After six miles we saw on the left of the path a huge natural pile or burrow of primitive boulders, about 200 feet high, and called “Brigham’s Peak,” because, according to Jehu’s whiskyfied story, the prophet, revelator, and seer of the Latter-Day Saints had there, in 1857 (!), pronounced a 4th of July oration in the presence of 200 or 300 fair devotees.