The zeal of an author has transported me thus far, though I think myself as much concerned in the capacity of a reader. If this practice goes on, we must never expect to see again a beautiful edition of a book in Great Britain.
We have already seen the Memoirs of Sir William Temple[319] published in the same character and volume with the history of Tom Thumb, and the works of our greatest poets shrunk into penny books and garlands. For my own part, I expect to see my lucubrations printed on browner paper[320] than they are at present; and, if the humour continues, must be forced to retrench my expensive way of living, and not smoke above two pipes a day.
Mr. Charles Lillie, perfumer at the corner of Beauford Buildings, has informed me, that I am obliged to several of my customers for coming to his shop upon my recommendation; and has also given me further assurances of his upright dealing with all who shall be so kind as to make use of my name to him. I acknowledge this favour, and have, for the service of my friends who frequent his shop, used the force of magical powers to add value to his wares. By my knowledge in the secret operations of nature, I have made his powders, perfumed and plain, have the same effect as love-powder to all who are too much enamoured to do more than dress at their mistresses. His amber orange-flower, musk, and civet-violet, put only into a handkerchief, shall have the same effect towards an honourable lover's wishes as if he had been wrapped in his mother's smock. Wash-balls perfumed, camphored, and plain, shall restore complexions to that degree, that a country fox-hunter who uses them shall in a week's time look with a courtly and affable paleness, without using the bagnio or cupping. N. B.—Mr. Lillie has snuffs, Barcelona, Seville, musty, plain, and Spanish, which may be taken by a young beginner without danger of sneezing.
Sheer Lane, Nov. 30.
Whereas several walking-dead persons arrived within the bills of mortality, before and since the 15th instant, having been informed of my warrant[321] given to the Company of Upholders, and being terrified thereat (it not having been advertised that privilege or protection would be allowed), have resolved forthwith to retire to their several and respective abodes in the country, hoping thereby to elude any commission of interment that may issue out against them; and being informed of such their fallacious designs, I do hereby give notice, as well for the good of the public as for the great veneration I have for the before-mentioned useful society, that a process is gone out against them, and that, in case of contempt, they may be found or heard of at most coffee-houses in and about Westminster.
I must desire my readers to help me out from time to time in the correction of these my essays; for as a shaking hand does not always write legibly, the press sometimes prints one word for another; and when my paper is to be revised, I am perhaps so busy in observing the spots of the moon, that I have not time to find out the errata that are crept into my lucubrations.
FOOTNOTES:
[313] See No. 102.
[314] "Sir Richard Steele joined in this paper" (Tickell).