Will's Coffee-house, Sept. 12.
Of all the pretty arts in which our modern writers excel, there is not any which is more to be recommended to the imitation of beginners than the skill of transition from one subject to another. I know not whether I make myself well understood; but it is certain, that the way of stringing a discourse, used in the Mercury Gallant,[131] the Gentleman's Journal,[132] and other learned writings, not to mention how naturally things present themselves to such as harangue in pulpits, and other occasions which occur to the learned, are methods worthy commendation. I shall attempt this style myself in a few lines. Suppose I were discoursing upon the King of Sweden's passing the Boristhenes. The Boristhenes is a great river, and puts me in mind of the Danube and the Rhine. The Danube I cannot think of without reflecting on that unhappy prince who had such fair territories on the banks of it; I mean the Duke of Bavaria, who by our last letters is retired from Mons. Mons is as strong a fortification as any which has no citadel; and places which are not completely fortified, are, methinks, lessons to princes, that they are not omnipotent, but liable to the strokes of fortune. But as all princes are subject to such calamities, it is the part of men of letters to guard them from the observations of all small writers: for which reason I shall conclude my present remarks by publishing the following advertisement, to be taken notice of by all who dwell in the suburbs of learning.
"Whereas the King of Sweden has been so unfortunate to receive a wound in his heel; we do hereby prohibit all epigrammatists in either language, and both universities, as well as all other poets, of what denomination soever, to make any mention of Achilles having received his death's wound in the same part.
"We do likewise forbid all comparisons in coffee-houses between Alexander the Great and the said King of Sweden, and from making any parallels between the death of Patkul and Philotas;[133] we being very apprehensive of the reflections that several politicians have ready by them to produce on this occasion, and being willing, as much as in us lies, to free the town from all impertinences of this nature."
FOOTNOTES:
[125] See No. 21.
[126] See Nos. 54, 61.
[127] See Nos. 1, 56, 59.
[128] See Nos. 44, 47.
[129] A portion of this paper, commencing here, and ending with "all the caution imaginable" (p. 130), is printed in Scott's edition of Swift's Works, and was no doubt by the Dean. See No. 81, note.
[130] A penny postal system was established in London in 1683 by William Dockwra, a merchant, who was dismissed from his position as comptroller in 1700. In 1709, Charles Povey, a projector, started a halfpenny carriage of letters for the Metropolis, but in November the postmasters-general brought an action against him for an infringement of their monopoly, and Povey was fined £100.