The ladies will find this much more true in the case of their lover; and the woman he most likes, will certainly be more pleased; she whom he flights, more offended, than she can imagine before she has tried. Now I humbly propose, that they both marry coxcombs whom they are sure they cannot like, and then they may be pretty secure against the change of affection, which they fear; and by that means, preserving the temperature under which they now write, enjoy during life, "equal day and night."
St. James's Coffee-house, Sept. 16.
There is no manner of news; but people now spend their time in coffee-houses in reflections upon the particulars of the late glorious day,[156] and collecting the several parts of the action, as they are produced in letters from private hands, or notices given to us by accounts in public papers. A pleasant gentleman, alluding to the great fences through which we pierced, said this evening, "The French thought themselves on the right side of the hedge, but it proved otherwise." Mr. Kidney, who has long conversed with, and filled tea for the most consummate politicians, was pleased to give me an account of this piece of ribaldry, and desired me on that occasion to write a whole paper on the subject of valour, and explain how that quality, which must be possessed by whole armies, is so highly preferable in one man rather than another, and how the same actions are but mere acts of duty in some, and instances of the most heroic virtue in others. He advised me not to fail in this discourse to mention the gallantry of the Prince of Nassau in this last engagement, who (when a battalion made a halt in the face of the enemy) snatched the colours out of the hands of the ensign, and planted them just before the line of the enemy, calling to that battalion to take care of their colours, if they had no regard to him. Mr. Kidney has my promise to obey him in this particular on the first occasion that offers.
Mr. Bickerstaff is now compiling exact accounts of the pay of the militia, and the commission officers under the respective Lieutenancies of Great Britain: in the first place, of those of London and Westminster; and in regard that there are no common soldiers, but all house-keepers, or representatives of house-keepers in these bodies, the sums raised by the officers shall be looked into, and their fellow-soldiers, or rather fellow-travellers from one part of the town to the other, not defrauded of the ten pounds allowed for the subsistence of the troops.
Whereas not very long since, at a tavern between Fleet Bridge and Charing Cross, some certain polite gentlemen thought fit to perform the bacchanalian exercises of devotion, by dancing without clothes on, after the manner of the pre-Adamites; this is to certify those persons, that there is no manner of wit or humour in the said practice, and that the beadles of the parish are to be at their next meeting, where it is to be examined, whether they are arrived at want of feeling, as well as want of shame.
Whereas a chapel clerk was lately taken in a garret on a flock-bed with two of the fair sex, who are usually employed in sifting cinders; this is to let him know, that if he persists in being a scandal both to laity and clergy (as being as it were both and neither), the names of the nymphs who were with him shall be printed; therefore he is desired, as he tenders the reputation of his ladies, to repent.
Mr. Bickerstaff has received information, that an eminent and noble preacher in the chief congregation of Great Britain, for fear of being thought guilty of presbyterian fervency and extemporary prayer, lately read his, before sermon; but the same advices acknowledging that he made the congregation large amends by the shortness of his discourse, it is thought fit to make no further observation upon it.[157]
FOOTNOTES:
[150] "Encheiridion," sect. xvii. Dobson.