"Sir,
"Having a great deal of more advantageous business at present on my hands, I thought to have deferred answering your Tatler of the 21st instant, till the company was gone, and season over; but having resolved not to regard any impertinences of your paper, except what relate particularly to me, I am the more easily induced to answer you (as I shall find time to do it): First, partly lest you should think yourself neglected, which I have reason to believe you would take heinously ill. Secondly, partly because it will increase my fame, and consequently my audience, when all the quality shall see with how much wit and raillery I show you—I don't care a farthing for you. Thirdly, partly because, being without books,[13] if I don't show much learning, it will not be imputed to my having none.
"I have travelled Italy, France, and Spain, and fully comprehend what any German artist in the world can do; yet cannot I imagine, why you should endeavour to disturb the repose and plenty which (though unworthy) I enjoy at this place. It cannot be, that you take offence at my prologues and epilogues, which you are pleased to miscall foolish and abusive. No, no, until you give a better,[14] I shall not forbear thinking, that the true reason of your picking a quarrel with me was, because it is more agreeable to your principles, as well as more to the honour of your assured victory, to attack a governor. Mr. Isaac, Mr. Isaac, I can see into a millstone as far as another (as the saying is). You are for sowing the seeds of sedition and disobedience among my puppets, and your zeal for the (good old) cause would make you persuade Punch to pull the string from his chops, and not move his jaw when I have a mind he should harangue. Now I appeal to all men, if this is not contrary to that uncontrollable, unaccountable dominion, which by the laws of nature I exercise over them; for all sorts of wood and wire were made for the use and benefit of man: I have therefore an unquestionable right to frame, fashion, and put them together, as I please; and, having made them what they are, my puppets are my property, and therefore my slaves: nor is there in nature anything more just, than the homage which is paid by a less to a more excellent being: so that, by the right therefore of a superior genius, I am their supreme moderator, although you would insinuate (agreeably to your levelling principles) that I am myself but a great puppet, and can therefore have but a co-ordinate jurisdiction with them. I suppose I have now sufficiently made it appear, that I have a paternal right[15] to keep a puppet-show, and this right I will maintain in my prologues on all occasions.
"And therefore, if you write a defence of yourself against this my self-defence, I admonish you to keep within bounds; for every day will not be so propitious to you as the 29th of April; and perhaps my resentment may get the better of my generosity, and I may no longer scorn to fight one who is not my equal with unequal weapons: there are such things as scandalums magnatums;[16] therefore take heed hereafter how you write such things as I cannot easily answer, for that will put me in a passion.
"I order you to handle only these two propositions, to which our dispute may be reduced: the first, whether I have not an absolute power, whenever I please, to light a pipe with one of Punch's legs, or warm my fingers with his whole carcass? The second, whether the devil would not be in Punch, should he by word or deed oppose my sovereign will and pleasure? And then, perhaps, I may (if I can find leisure for it) give you the trouble of a second letter.
"But if you intend to tell me of the original of puppet-shows, and the several changes, and revolutions that have happened in them, since Thespis, and I don't care who, that's noli me tangere; I have solemnly engaged to say nothing of what I can't approve. Or, if you talk of certain contracts with the mayor and burgesses, or fees to the constables, for the privilege of acting, I will not write one single word about any such matters;[17] but shall leave you to be mumbled by the learned and very ingenious author of a late book, who knows very well what is to be said and done in such cases.[18] He is now shuffling the cards, and dealing to Timothy; but if he wins the game, I will send him to play at backgammon with you; and then he will satisfy you, that deuce-ace makes five.
"And so, submitting myself to be tried by my country, and allowing any jury of twelve good men, and true, to be that country; not excepting any (unless Mr. Isaac Bickerstaff) to be of the panel,[19] for you are neither good nor true; I bid you heartily farewell; and am,
"Sir,
Your loving Friend,
Powell.[20]