But since age and infirmities forbid my appearance at such public places, the next happiness is to make the best use of privacy, and acquit myself of the demands of my correspondents. The following letter is what has given me no small inquietude, it being an accusation of partiality, and disregard to merit, in the person of a virtuoso, who is the most eloquent of all men upon small occasions, and is the more to be admired for his prodigious fertility of invention, which never appears but upon subjects which others would have thought barren. But in consideration of his uncommon talents, I am contented to let him be the hero of my next two days, by inserting his friends' recommendation of him at large:
"Dear Cousin, "Nando's,[140] Feb. 28, 1709.
"I am just come out of the country, and upon perusing your late Lucubrations, I find Charles Lillie to be the darling of your affections, that you have given him a place, and taken no small pains to establish him in the world; and at the same time have passed by his namesake[141] at this end of the town, as if he was a citizen defunct, and one of no use in a commonwealth. I must own, his circumstances are so good, and so well known, that he does not stand in need of having his fame published to the world; but being of an ambitious spirit, and an aspiring soul, he would be rather proud of the honour, than desirous of the profit, which might result from your recommendation. He is a person of a particular genius, the first that brought toys in fashion, and baubles to perfection. He is admirably well versed in screws, springs, and hinges, and deeply read in knives, combs or scissors, buttons or buckles. He is a perfect master of words, which, uttered with a smooth voluble tongue, flow into a most persuasive eloquence; insomuch that I have known a gentleman of distinction find several ingenious faults with a toy of his, and show his utmost dislike to it, as being either useless, or ill-contrived; but when the orator behind the counter had harangued upon it for an hour and a half, displayed its hidden beauties, and revealed its secret perfections, he has wondered how he had been able to spend so great a part of his life without so important an utensil. I won't pretend to furnish out an inventory of all the valuable commodities that are to be found at his shop.
"I shall content myself with giving an account of what I think most curious. Imprimis, his pocket-books are very neat, and well contrived, not for keeping bank bills or goldsmiths' notes,[142] I confess; but they are admirable for registering the lodgings of Madonnas, and for preserving letters from ladies of quality: his whips and spurs are so nice, that they'll make one that buys them ride a fox-hunting, though before he hated noise and early rising, and was afraid of breaking his neck. His seals are curiously fancied, and exquisitely well cut, and of great use to encourage young gentlemen to write a good hand. Ned Puzzlepost had been ill-used by his writing-master, and writ a sort of a Chinese, or downright scrawlian: however, upon his buying a seal of my friend, he is so much improved by continual writing, that it is believed in a short time one may be able to read his letters, and find out his meaning, without guessing. His pistols and fusees are so very good, that they are fit to be laid up among the finest china. Then his tweezer-cases are incomparable: you shall have one not much bigger than your finger, with seventeen several instruments in it, all necessary every hour of the day, during the whole course of a man's life. But if this virtuoso excels in one thing more than another, it is in canes; he has spent his most select hours in the knowledge of them, and is arrived at that perfection, that he is able to hold forth upon canes longer than upon any one subject in the world. Indeed his canes are so finely clouded, and so well made up, either with gold or amber heads, that I am of the opinion it is impossible for a gentleman to walk, talk, sit or stand as he should do, without one of them. He knows the value of a cane, by knowing the value of the buyer's estate. Sir Timothy Shallow has two thousand pounds per annum, and Tom Empty one. They both at several times bought a cane of Charles: Sir Timothy's cost ten guineas, and Tom Empty's five. Upon comparing them, they were perfectly alike. Sir Timothy surprised there should be no difference in the canes, and so much in the price, comes to Charles. 'Damn it, Charles,' says he, 'you have sold me a cane here for ten pieces, and the very same to Tom Empty for five.' 'Lord, Sir Timothy,' says Charles, 'I am concerned that you, whom I took to understand canes better than any baronet in town, should be so overseen;[143] why, Sir Timothy, yours is a true jambee, and Squire Empty's only a plain dragon.'[144]
"This virtuoso has a parcel of jambees now growing in the East Indies, where he keeps a man on purpose to look after them, which will be the finest that ever landed in Great Britain, and will be fit to cut about two years hence. Any gentleman may subscribe for as many as he pleases. Subscriptions will be taken in at his shop at ten guineas each joint. They that subscribe for six, shall have a dragon gratis. This is all I have to say at present concerning Charles' curiosities; and hope it may be sufficient to prevail with you to take him into your consideration, which if you comply with, you will oblige,
"Your humble Servant.
"N.B. Whereas there came out last term several gold snuff-boxes and others: this is to give notice, that Charles[145] will put out a new edition on Saturday next, which will be the only one in fashion till after Easter. The gentleman that gave fifty pounds for the box set with diamonds, may show it till Sunday night, provided he goes to church; but not after that time, there being one to be published on Monday which will cost fourscore guineas."
FOOTNOTES:
[137] See No. [137]. In No. 140 there was the following advertisement: "At the request of all the ladies of quality, who are at present engaged in politics, the benefit night for Cavalier Nicolini is put off to Tuesday the 7th instant."
[138] Cf. "Wentworth Papers," p. 113. "Sacheverell will make all the Ladys good huswis, they goe att seven every mornin'," says Lady Wentworth.