At the same time that I recommend the several flowers in which this spirit of lavender is wrapped up (if the expression may be used), I cannot excuse my fellow-labourers for admitting into their papers several uncleanly advertisements, not at all proper to appear in the works of polite writers. Among these I must reckon the Carminative Wind-expelling Pills.[97] If the doctor had called them only his carminative pills, he had been as cleanly as one could have wished; but the second word entirely destroys the decency of the first. There are other absurdities of this nature so very gross, that I dare not mention them; and shall therefore dismiss this subject, with a public admonition to Michael Parrot,[98] that he do not presume any more to mention a certain worm he knows of, which, by the way, has grown seven foot in my memory; for, if I am not much mistaken, it is the same that was but nine foot long about six months ago.
By the remarks I have here made, it plainly appears, that a collection of advertisements is a kind of miscellany; the writers of which, contrary to all authors, except men of quality, give money to the booksellers who publish their copies. The genius of the bookseller is chiefly shown in his method of ranging and digesting these little tracts. The last paper I took up in my hands, places them in the following order:
- The True Spanish Blacking for Shoes, &c.[99]
- The Beautifying Cream for the Face, &c.[100]
- Pease and Plaisters, &c.
- Nectar and Ambrosia, &c.[101]
- Four Freehold Tenements of £15 per Annum, &c.[102]
- ⁂ "The Present State of England," &c.[103]
- †‡† "Annotations upon the Tatler," &c.[104]
A Commission of Bankrupt being awarded against B. L., Bookseller, &c.[105]
FOOTNOTES:
[87] Addison wrote again on advertisements, in the Spectator (No. 547).
[88] "At the Golden Cupid, in Piccadilly, lives the widow Varick, who is leaving off her trade, hath some statues and boys, and a considerable parcel of flower-pots and vases second-hand, to be sold a great pennyworth" (Post-Man, September 16-19, 1710).
[89] Bartlet, "at the Golden Ball, by the Ship Tavern, in Prescot Street, in Goodman's Fields," advertised inventions for the cure of ruptures; "also divers instruments to help the weak and crooked." "His mother, the wife of the late Mr. Christopher Bartlet, lives at the place above mentioned, who is very skilful in the business to those of her own sex" (Tatler, No. 70). There was also an S. Bartlet, at the Naked Boy, in Dean Street, Red Lion Square, who carried on a similar business (Post-Man, September 2-5, 1710).
[90] "The so much-famed strops for setting razors, &c., are only to be had at Jacob's Coffee-house, in Threadneedle Street, with directions. Price 1s. each. Beware of counterfeits, for such are abroad. The trues ones, which deservedly have gained so much commendation, are only to be had as above. Golden snuff still to be had there, 6d. per paper" (Post-Man, March 23, 1703). Steele alluded twice to the author of "strops for razors" in the Spectator (Nos. 428 and 509). In No. 423 of the Spectator there was an advertisement of "the famous original Venetian strops." Swift, referring to rival imitations of the Tatler published in January 1711, says, "So there must be disputes which are genuine, like the strops for razors."
[91] "Morning gowns of men and women, of silks, stuffs, and calicoes (being the goods of persons that failed), which were to be disposed of at the Olive Tree and Still, are now to be sold at the Golden Sugar Loaf, up one pair of stairs, over against the Horse, at Charing Cross; with a fresh parcel at very low rates, the price being set on each gown" (Tatler, No. 222). A similar advertisement from "the Black Lion, over against Foster Lane, Cheapside" (Examiner, December 7-14, 1710).