Bum. You told me that your Committees were to procure Subscriptions; we were hard put to't, I'm sure, in the Country to get Hands.
The way of getting hands in and about London.
Citt. And so were we in the City Bumpkin; and if it had not been to advance the Protestant Interest, I'de have been torn to pieces by wild Horses, before I'de have done what I did. But extraordinary Cases must have extraordinary allowances. There was hardly a Register about the Town that scap'd us for Names: Bedlam, Bridewell, all the Parish-books, nay the very Goals, and Hospitalls; we had our Agents at all Publick Meetings, Court, Church, Change, all the Schools up and down; Masters underwrit for their Children, and Servants, Women for their Husbands in the West-Indies, nay we prevail'd upon some Parsons, to engage for their whole Congregations; we took in Jack Straw, Wat Tyler, and the whole Legend of Poor Robins Saints into our List of Petitioners; and the same Names serv'd us in four or five several places. And where's the hurt of all this now? So long as the Cause it self is Righteous.
Several ways of getting Hands in the Country.
Bum. Nay, the thing was well enough Citt, if we could but have gone through with it: And you shall see now that we were put to our shifts in the Country, as well as you in the City. I was employ'd you must know, to get Names at four shillings a Hundred, and I had all my Real Subscriptions written at such a distance, one from another, that I could easily clap in a Name or two betwixt 'um; and then I got as many School-boys as I could, to underwrite after the same manner, and after this, fill'd up all those spaces with Names that I either Remember'd, or Invented my self, or could get out of two or three Christning-books. There are a World (ye know) of Smiths, Browns, Clarks, Walkers, Woods, so that I furnish'd my Catalogue with a matter of Fifty a piece of these Sir-names, which I Christen'd my self. And besides, we had all the Non-conformist Ministers in the Country for us, and they brought in a power of hands.
The Protestant Dissenters great Promoters of the Petition.
Citt. What do you talk of your Non-conformists? They do but work Journey-work to Ours. We have the Heads of all the Protestant Dissenters in the Nation here in this Town, why, we have more [Religions], Bumpkin, in this City, then you have People in your whole Country.
Bum. Ay, and 'tis a great blessing too, that when Professors are at so mighty Variance among themselves, there should be so wonderfull an Agreement in the Common Cause.
Citt. And that's notably observ'd, Bumkin; for so we found it here. The Presbyterian got hands of His Party; the Independent of His; the Baptist of His; the Fifth-Monarchy man of His; and so throughout all our Divisions: and we had still the most zealous man in His way, to gather the Subscriptions: And when they had completed their Roll, they discharg'd themselves as Naturally into the Grand Committee, as Rivers into the Sea. And then we were sure of all the Republicans.
Bum. But after all this Care and Industry, how was it possible for the business to Miscarry?