Bum. Well, but what shall we Charge 'um with?
Citt. Why, if we were Once at the bottom of This Plot (which, upon my soul, Bumpkin, is a most hideous one) and wanted matter for Another, I would charge them with a designe of betraying us to a Foreign Enemy.
Bum. As how a Foreign Enemy pre'thee?
A Heavy Charge.
Citt. As Thus: I would charge 'um with holding an Intelligence with the Emperor of Morocco, for the Landing of five and thirty thousand Light-horse men upon Salisbury Plain.
Bum. Pre'thee, Citt, don't Romance.
Nothing Incredible.
Citt. Pre'thee do not Balderno, ye should say; Speak Statutable English, ye Fool you. Thou think'st perhaps that the people will not believe it: Observe but what I say to thee; let it but be put into the Protestant Domestique, that his Imperiall Majesty is to hold up his hand at the Kings Bench-barr for't, and let me be Dogs-meat if they do not swallow That too. Why pre'thee, Bumkin, we must make 'um believe stranger Things than This, or we shall never do our businesse. They must be made to believe that the King intends to play the Tyrant; that all his Counsellors are Pensioners to the French King; that all his Enemies are turn'd his Friends, o'th sodain, and all his Friends, his Enemies; That Prelacy is Anti-Christian; all our Clergy-men, Papists, the Liturgy the Masse-Book, and that the Ten Commandments are to be read backward.
Bum. Blesse me, Citt, what do I hear?
Popish Ministers may have Orthodox Offices.