Q. Thou'rt e'en as busy with a Backside as a Glyster-Pipe. But (sluttery a part) Pray have a care what ye say; for if a Proselyted Papist be not to be trusted upon his Oath, what becomes of the Kings Evidence that swear under the same Circumstances? But here's enough of this; and Pre'thee tell us now, how go squares in the State all this while?
A. Oh very bad, very bad, nothing but Tory-Rorys, from top to bottom. Tory-Judges; Tory-Jurys; Tory-Justices; Tory-Officers; Tory-Crackfarts; Tory-Pamphlets. All, Certiorari-men, and Yorkists. But I rattled up some of 'em there at the——What d'ye call't-House——Oh they'r grown strangely Insolent since these Bawling Addresses.
Q. Why what do they do?
A. Why they set every Rascally Squire and Doctor above me: Nay, they'l scarce put off their hats to me unless I begin; and then they stand grinning at Me and my Train. Would you think now that a fellow should have the Impudence to call Me to an account, for nothing in the world, but saying, that he had a Bitch to his Wife, and she a Rogue to her Husband. And then to be call'd Sirrah for my pains, only for telling a Court-Kinsman of his that I should Lace the Rogue, his Cozens Coat for him. Well If I had not sent a Fool o'my errant I had had the Rascal in Lob's Pound before this time.
Q. And how came ye to miss?
A. Why the Agent that I employ'd was so set upon his Guts, that he never minded the discourse at the Table. We had had him else. Or if he could but have got him to ha' met me, we'd ha' done his business.
Q. But d'ye take this to be fair dealing now; to set any man at work to betray his Host; or to give such language to people of Condition?
A. What not when the Protestant Religion lies at stake? Why Pre'thee I tell the Proudest of 'em all to their Teeth, that they are Villains and Scoundrells. What do I care for their Graces and Reverences, they Pimp for Preferment, and some of 'em shall hear on't too next Parliament. But Hark ye I have a great deal of work upon my hands, and I want an Ammanuensis out of all Cry.
Q. Why ye had a Pretty Fellow to'ther day, what's become of him?
A. I'l tell ye then. A Taylor had made him a Garment: and afterwards coming to him for the mony, he deny'd the Receit on't and being prest upon it, he offer'd to purge himself upon Oath, that he never had any such Garment. Upon this, the matter rested for a while; but at length, it was prov'd where he had Sold it, and so the Taylor had satisfaction. In short, I turn'd him away apon't, for he is no servant for me that's taken in a false Oath.