Husbands and wives appear to pass their lives very agreeably together, which may partly be caused by the facility of divorce. Many men and women have been married seven or eight times before they find the partner with whom they desire to spend the rest of their lives. I saw a young girl of seventeen who had already had three husbands. These divorces take place at varied times, from a few days after marriage, to one or two years. However, after the birth of a child, they seldom seek to separate, and if they do the husband is fined, but not the wife. The work of the family is divided, though perhaps the female has most continued labour. The man builds and repairs the houses and boats, fells all the heavy timber at the farm, brings home the firewood, and very often nurses the baby. The wives are very domestic, and in their way carefully attend to household duties; they cook, clean the rice, feed the pigs and poultry, spin the yarn, weave the cloth, and make the clothes. A wife is also expected to be polite to visitors, to bring out her finest mats, and offer the interminable areca nut to her guests.
As the wife works hard, she is generally very strong and capable of taking her own part. She is very jealous of her husband, much more so than he is of her. If he be found flirting with another woman, the wife may inflict a severe thrashing on her, but only with sticks, while if the offending woman have a husband, he may do the same to the man. To escape these domestic broils, he generally starts off into the jungle, and pretends to or really does go head-hunting.
The causes of divorce are innumerable, but incompatibility of temper is perhaps the most common; when they are tired of each other they do not say so, but put the fault upon an unfavourable omen or a bad dream, either of which is allowed to be a legitimate cause of divorce. Should they, however, be still fond of each other, the sacrifice of a pig will effectually prevent any misfortune happening to them from neglecting to separate. Partners often divorce from pique, or from a petty quarrel, and are then allowed to come together again without any fresh marriage ceremony. Among the Balau Dayaks, it is necessary for the offended husband to send a ring to his wife, before the marriage can be considered as finally dissolved, without which, should they marry again, they would be liable to be punished for infidelity.
I may add, that as the wife does an equal share of work with her husband, at a divorce she is entitled to half the wealth created by their mutual labours.
Burials.—Among the Sea Dayaks, corpses are usually buried; although, should a man express a wish to share the privilege of the priests and be, like them, exposed on a raised platform, the relations are bound to comply with this request.
Immediately the breath has left the body, the female relations commence loud and melancholy laments; they wash the corpse, and dress it in its finest garments, and often, if a man, fully armed, and bear it forth to the great common hall, where it is surrounded by its friends to be mourned over. In some villages a hireling leads the lament, which is continued till the corpse leaves the house. Before this takes place, however, the body is rolled up in cloths and fine mats, kept together by pieces of bamboo tied on with rattans, and taken to the burial-ground. A fowl is then killed as a sacrifice to the spirit who guards the earth, and they commence digging the grave from two and a half to four and a half feet deep, according to the person’s rank; deeper than five feet would be unlawful. Whilst this operation is going on, others fell a large tree, and cutting off about six feet, split it in two, and then hollow them out with an adze. One part serves as the coffin, the other as the lid; the body is placed within, and the two are secured together by means of strips of pliable canes bound round them.
After the coffin is lowered into the grave, many things belonging to the deceased are cast in, together with rice, tobacco, and betel nut, as they believe they may prove useful in the other world, or as it is called by them Sabayan.
It was an old custom, but now perhaps falling somewhat into disuse, to place money, gold and silver ornaments, clothes, and various china and brass utensils in the grave; but these treasures were too great temptations to those Malays who were addicted to gambling; and the rifling of the place of interment has often given great and deserved offence to the relations. As it is almost impossible to discover the offenders, it is now the practice to break in pieces all the utensils placed in the grave, and to conceal as carefully as possible the valuable ornaments. The whole tribe of the Lundu Sibuyaus was thrown into a great state of excited indignation on finding that some Malays had opened the place of interment of the old Orang Kaya Tumanggong of Lundu, and stolen the valuable property. This was the chief who was so firm a friend of the Europeans, and whose name is so often mentioned in former works on Borneo.
The relatives and bearers of the corpse must return direct to the house from which they started before entering another, as it is unlawful or unlucky to stop, whatever may be the distance to be traversed.
They are often very particular about the dress in which they are to be buried. Many of the old Sakarang women have asked Mr. Johnson for handsome jackets to be used after their death for this purpose, saying that when they arrived in the other world, they would mention his name with respect and gratitude on account of the kindness shown to them in this.