Also about Clara, I had already determined to apply for a permission for her to quit the convent, which I will do, and act on it as circumstances may require. I think, however, she is better there as long as she can be so without risk. With regard to Madeira, I am unable on so short consideration to give any opinion. I am told there is a most respectable convent there, but the means of transport, admission, etc., etc., have of course some difficulty. I should also like to bring it about with her so that it should appear rather her own wish than ours, which may be done with a little management. On this subject, however, I will write further when better informed.
You wish to know my situation in the country, etc., etc. It is simply this, I have the rank of Major, but neither pay, nor allowances, or fixed regiment. It was intended to have given those who chose it the Portuguese pay, that is those who got no rank, by entering it, in their own service. This I refused, and have already informed you of my reasons, which I hope you approve. However, since I find we are not to get it, as we receive English staff pay, and Batt and Forage, I received the other day, which, however, they threaten to make me refund, (150 f. for horses), and besides this I neither have nor do receive one farthing from their Government, or any besides my English pay.
I could indeed make it out very well on my Staff pay, but for my losses in horses. Within this four months I have paid 80 guineas for one horse. He is completely lame and at Pinhel; 50 do. for another, left at Lamego, water in his chest. I have been forced to ride a black horse, which the General lent me, the whole campaign, as to buying horses at any price is impossible, except at Lisbon. Here I yesterday bought a mare blind of an eye, though a very nice one, for 40 gns. In this case, as you will suppose, with very expensive dress, I cannot save much towards my majority.
Since Rankin robbed me and was turned off, I have found it impossible to get a servant of any kind who would look after myself and horses, and am at last obliged to hire a Valet de Chambre (to avoid paying 800 Reis per diem to a Valet de place, who does nothing). He is highly recommended, has the care of everything, overlooks the stable, and finds himself in everything at 4 moidores a month. I shall not however keep him longer, when I can get an English groom.
I will send you the statement of losses at Coruña as soon as I can get an opportunity, and a printed form. The conduct of our Government towards the young men who entered the Portuguese service, and have exerted themselves very much, all meritorious young Officers, in not giving them the step of rank, in consequence of which most will quit it, at this most critical moment; and their giving rank to men totally out of the army, as Brigadiers, to come and command English Lt.-Cols. and Majors, is most extraordinary and disgusting. Beresford’s exertions have been constant and unremitting and their excellent effect daily visible, but the Government have behaved shamefully to him in many respects.
As to myself, I perfectly agree with you, though I think not quite so desconfiado as you suspect. I am much obliged to you for sending the encommendas and will write to Porto about them. I will make the Fidalgos pay, or nada feito.[15]
I do not yet know when we quit Lisbon. It of course depends much on the movements of the enemy. You shall hear from me when we do. I believe our army is getting on very well, but, unless Government will make the Magistrates do their duty, and most severe examples of what deserters are caught, it (will be) impossible to keep them together, while they know that they can return home with impunity when they like. There is also a disgusting delay in getting anything done, when everything should be vigour and activity, and I really sometimes wonder at Beresford’s perseverance and patience. A less firm man would have done nothing with them.
We look to Germany with the greatest anxiety. The renewal of hostilities is something, but the consequences are not less a matter of anxiety and fear than their Armistice. God prosper them. Their cause is that of Europe.
Adieu. Kindest love to all at home from, dearest friend, your ever affectionate Son,