Deepest Stage of Misery, and Deliverance.
In the evening I came to an inn, where I met a poor tramp who was a Jewish beggar by profession. I was uncommonly pleased to meet one of my brethren, with whom I could talk, and to whom this neighbourhood was pretty well known. I resolved therefore to wander about the country with this companion, and to preserve my life in this way, though two such heterogeneous persons were nowhere to be met with in the world. I was an educated rabbi; he was an idiot. I had hitherto maintained myself in an honourable way; he was a beggar by profession. I had ideas of morality, propriety, and decency; he knew nothing of these. Finally, I was in sound health, it is true, but still of weakly constitution; he, on the other hand, was a sturdy, able-bodied fellow, who would have made the best of soldiers.
Notwithstanding these differences, I stuck close to the man, as, in order to prolong life, I was compelled to become a vagrant in a strange land. In our wanderings I laboured to communicate to my companion ideas of religion and of true morality, while he in return instructed me in the art of begging. He taught me the usual formulas of the art, and recommended me especially to curse and swear, whenever I was sent away without anything. But with all the trouble, which he gave himself in the matter, his teachings would not take any hold on me. The formulas of begging appeared to me absurd I thought, if a man was once compelled to beg help of others, he should express his feelings in the most simple form. As far as cursing was concerned, I could not understand why a man, who refused another's request, should draw a curse upon himself; and then it seemed to me, that the man thus treated would be thereby embittered, and the beggar be all the less likely to attain his object. When therefore I went to beg with my comrade, I conducted myself always as if I were begging and cursing at the same time, but in fact I never spoke a single intelligible word. If, on the other hand, I went alone, I had absolutely nothing to say; but from my appearance and conduct could easily be seen what was wanted. My comrade sometimes scolded me on account of my slowness in learning his art, and this I bore with the greatest patience.
In this way we wandered about in a district of a few miles for nearly half a year. At last we resolved to turn our steps towards Poland. When we arrived at Posen we took up our quarters in the Jewish poorhouse, the master of which was a poor jobbing tailor. Here I formed the resolve, at whatever cost, to bring my wandering to a close. It was harvest-time, and already began to be pretty cold. I was almost naked and barefoot. By this vagrant life, in which I never got any regular meals, for the most part had to content myself with bits of mouldy bread and water, and at night was obliged to lie on old straw, sometimes even on the bare earth, my health had seriously suffered. Besides, the sacred seasons and fast-days in the Jewish calendar were coming on; and as at that time I was of a somewhat strong religious disposition, I could not endure the thought of passing in complete idleness this period which others employed for the welfare of their souls.
I resolved, therefore, for the present at least, to go no farther, and, at all events if it should come to the worst, to throw myself before the synagogue, and either die there or excite the compassion of my brethren, and by that means bring my sufferings to an end. Consequently as soon as my comrade awoke in the morning, began to make arrangements for a begging tour, and summoned me to the same, I told him that I would not go with him at present; and when he asked how I intended to sustain life in any other way, I was able to answer nothing but "God will surely help."
I then went off to the Jewish school. Here I found a number of scholars, some of whom were reading, while others took advantage of the master's absence to pass the time in play. I also took a book to read. The scholars, who were struck by my strange dress, approached and asked me whence I came and what I wanted. Their questions I answered in my Lithuanian dialect, at which they began to laugh, and make merry at my expense. For this I cared little. But I recollected that, some years before, a chief rabbi from my neighbourhood had been appointed to the same office in Posen, and that he had taken with him an acquaintance and a good friend of mine as his secretary. Accordingly I asked the boys about this friend. To my extreme grief I learned that he was no longer in Posen, as the chief rabbi had been afterwards promoted to the same office in Hamburg, and his secretary had gone with him to that place. They told me, however, that his son, a boy about twelve years old, had been left behind in Posen with the present chief rabbi, who was a son-in-law of his predecessor.
This information saddened me not a little. Still the last circumstance gave me some hope. I inquired after the dwelling of the new chief rabbi, and went to it; but, as I was almost naked, I shrank from entering, and waited until I saw some one going into the house, whom I begged to be so good as to call my friend's son out. The boy recognised me at once, and manifested his astonishment at seeing me here in such a pitiable plight. I replied, that this was not the time to relate all the misfortunes which had brought me into this state, and that at present he should consider merely how he might somewhat relieve my distress.
This he promised to do. He went to the chief rabbi, and announced me as a great scholar and a pious man, who by extraordinary accidents had fallen into a very miserable condition. The chief rabbi, who was an excellent man, an acute Talmudist, and of very gentle character, was touched by my distress, and sent for me to come in. He conversed with me a while, discussing some of the most important subjects in the Talmud, and found me well versed in all branches of Jewish learning. Then he inquired about my intentions, and I told him that I wished to be introduced as a tutor into some family, but that meanwhile my only desire was to be able to celebrate the sacred season here, and for this short period at least to interrupt my travels.
The good-hearted rabbi bade me, so far as this was concerned, to lay aside all anxiety, spoke of my desire as a small matter, which it was nothing more than reasonable to want. He then gave me what money he had by him, invited me to dine with him every Sabbath, as long as I remained here, and bade his boy procure a respectable lodging for me. The boy came back soon, and conducted me to my lodging. I expected this to be only a small chamber in the house of some poor man. I was therefore not a little astonished, when I found myself in the house of one of the oldest Jews of the town, and that here had been prepared for me a neat little room, which was the study of the master, he and his son being both scholars.