"I could not look up—I dared not meet his penetrating eye: and shame added an additional pang to sorrow.—He saw the struggle in my bosom, and pity regained her influence: his voice softened—'Forgive my harshness, youth; I ought perhaps rather to apply the balm of consolation to a mind diseased, than by reproaches add to its malady: but you appear faint, my child;—perhaps for want of sustenance?'—He anxiously arose, and beckoning the host, desired him to carry some wine and provisions into a private room; then again addressing me, proffered his assistance to conduct me into the house.
"A false pride at first made me recoil: but the benevolence which beamed in his eyes, as he gently drew my hand on his arm, checked the ungrateful sentiment.
"I attended him to a room, where the humble Jean officiously spread a table with the little dainties of the larder; but a significant glance from my entertainer telling him his presence could be dispensed with, he respectfully bowed and retired. The worthy Monk then pressed me to eat; filled a glass with wine, and placed it near my plate: but all was ineffectual; my mind, more exhausted than my body, required that support he vainly offered to my enfeebled frame. I would in gratitude have eaten, but nature refused her office. He looked grieved—'Your sorrows, my son, I believe, are deeper than I at first imagined. Your looks—your deportment, bespeak you acquainted with fairer scenes in life, as well as with misfortune. Tell me—am I mistaken?'
"'You are not, Father,' I replied, 'and the action you lately witnessed, may tell you those misfortunes are neither trivial nor common. I am indeed the child of misery!'
"'Alas! my son,' he returned with a sigh, 'we view the events of life through the glass of prejudice. When misfortunes oppress us, we look through the magnifying end, and think our own afflictions by far the most superior: and, by the same rule, we reverse the glass to the distresses of others, and see them in a lessened point of view: still judging the happiness or misery of the world by our own feelings. Yet, true it is, that which afflicts you, might by another be disregarded; and that which would bow another to the grave, you, perhaps, could support with fortitude! It is the hand of a Power, which cannot err, that dispenses our portion of good and evil to each according to his abilities of bearing. Take religion for your staff, my son, and integrity for your guide, and the misfortunes of the world combined, can never crush you!'
"'Ah! Father,' I cried, 'resignation is easy in theory, to those who have only to preach it. Sheltered yourself from misfortune, how can you judge of that, which drove me a fugitive from hope and happiness?'
"'I can judge,' said he solemnly; 'for I have experienced sorrow; and I preach—from my practice! Listen to my tale, young man, with attention, and from my misfortunes learn to bear your own without repining.—
"'Monsieur La Roche, my father, was in his youth clerk to a merchant at Nantes, and early in life married a woman in circumstances humble as his own. I was the only fruit of that marriage, my mother dying of a decline, a few months after my birth. My father, however, did not long remain in a state of widowhood; for the only daughter of his master, who had long entertained a partiality for him, inadvertently so far discovered her sentiments, that he was emboldened to offer secret addresses; and a private marriage soon after made him the presumptive heir to his master. The old gentleman, who certainly had expected a more suitable match for his daughter, was yet too doatingly fond of her, to refuse the forgiveness she entreated: and the respectful behaviour of my father to him, and his strict application to business, in a little time, not only reconciled him to her imprudent choice, but raised my father so high in his esteem, that he voluntarily took him into partnership.
"'By my mother-in-law, who had not any children, and this worthy man, I was ever treated with the greatest tenderness, but in less than five years, a malignant fever broke out at Nantes, and, amongst its numerous victims, carried the gentle Madeleine and her sire to the grave; leaving my father, for the second time, what the world called, an inconsolable widower. He found himself, however, master of a princely fortune; and, in less than twelve months, surprised the world, by a third marriage—and that with the femme-de-chambre of his late wife!
"'From that period I date the commencement of the sorrows and misfortunes which attended me, till my head was silvered by the hand of time!