New Homes for Old

by Sophonisba Preston Breckinridge

UNPREPAREDNESS OF THE IMMIGRANT MOTHER

Looking after the physical well-being of the children is primarily a matter of maintaining them in health, and hence the discussion of these problems is left to the division of this study devoted to that subject. It is sufficient here to note that it is a peculiarly difficult problem for the foreign-born mothers. Modern knowledge of child feeding and modern ideas with regard to daily bathing are of recent origin. In many of the countries from which these women come they are unknown. A Croatian lawyer, who translated some of the Children's Bureau publications, was very much interested in the one on the care of the child of pre-school age. He told the investigator that there was nothing like that in his country, and he hoped that this translation might be used to reach the women in Croatia.

If this is true in matters that pertain to the physical welfare of children, it is even more marked in matters affecting their education and training. The modern idea is that the child should not be trained and disciplined to be subservient to the parent, but should be helped to develop his own personality. It is based on a greater respect for the intelligence of the child and on the idea that the early placing of the responsibility for his acts on the child himself will better train citizens for a changing world, and especially for democracy.

These ideas are of comparatively recent formulation, many of them dating from the impetus given to the study of the child by modern psychology. Although of gradual growth, they have been for a long time implicit in the current practices of the most enlightened section of the community. They are understood by a relatively small part of the community. They are acted on by much larger groups, so that it is common to hear members of the generation that is passing lament the lack of discipline of the children to-day.

The situation is complicated by the fact that many people who talk the most about developing the child's personality stop in practice with the removal of restraints, without attempting the more difficult task of developing his sense of responsibility. The point to note is that the native born, in part through their own conscious choice and in part blindly moved by forces they do not understand, have been gradually moving away from the old tradition of strict and unquestioning obedience such as is exacted by military authorities.

With the immigrant parents the situation is very different. The countries from which they come are not republics, and hence the opportunities for training for intelligent citizenship have been lacking, especially in the lower economic groups. The idea of the government has often been rather to foster that training that makes for good soldiers. Moreover, the civilizations from which most of these people came were at the time static, so that the evils of blind obedience and rigid conformity were not present to the same extent as in our more rapidly moving civilization. Thus the tradition of absolute obedience of child to parent remained practically intact. Wherever this tradition existed the usual method of enforcement was corporal punishment, generally inflicted with a strap. It is not intended to assert that a great deal of child beating was prevalent in the old country; in most cases the child learned quickly that the penalty of disobedience was the strap, and threats became as effective as its actual use.

BREAKDOWN OF PARENTAL AUTHORITY

The immigrant brings with him to this country this tradition of the authority of the parent, with no thought of doing anything but maintaining it here. There are, however, forces at work in this country that tend to make this impossible. There are suggestions of a different tradition in the general atmosphere. Many immigrants absorb these suggestions unconsciously, as they absorb those of a wider freedom for women. More important, however, is the development of the child. Circumstances of his daily life force him to take the lead in many situations. This has been pointed out in a study of the delinquent child, where it is said:[44]

Obviously, many things which are familiar to the child in the facts of daily intercourse in the street, or in the school, will remain unknown or unintelligible to the father and mother. It has become a commonplace that this cheap wisdom on the part of the boy or girl leads to a reversal of the usual relationship between parent and child. The child who knows English is the interpreter who makes the necessary explanations for the mother to the landlord, the grocer, the sanitary inspector, the charity visitor, and the teacher or truant officer. It is the child again who often interviews the "boss," finds the father a job, and sees him through the onerous task of "joining the union." The father and mother grow accustomed to trusting the child's version of what "they all do in America," and gradually find themselves at a great disadvantage in trying to maintain parental control.

In the face of this situation the conduct of the immigrant parent generally follows along one of three very distinct lines: (a) he modifies his methods in family discipline little by little, himself unconscious of the implications, or (b) he stubbornly attempts to retain the old authority undiminished, or (c) he abandons the old system without having anything to put in its place. The first method of behavior is probably the most common; it usually leads to little difficulty within the family group if the parents' modifications are made as fast as the child becomes aware of the newer ideas. The attempt to maintain the old system in its entirety may also be accomplished without disturbance if the child is willing, and probably in most cases it is maintained without serious opposition on the part of the child.