Why, what a very competent commander of a troop this fine young man must be!”
You must buy expensive suits, wear the shiniest of boots, and a glossy hat and tall,
For if you’re really clever you need practically never wear your uniform at all.
You probably will then see as little of your men as you decently can do,
And you’ll launch a thousand sneers at those foolish Volunteers, who are not a bit like you!
And those Volunteers will say,
When you go on in that way:
“If this young man’s such an unconcealed contempt for the likes of such as we,
What a genius at strategy and tactics too this fine young man must be!”
When, your blunders never noted, you are rapidly promoted to the snuggest berth you know,