****************************************************** ****************************************************** ****************************************************** ***** ***** THE ***** ***** REAL ***** ***** CYBERPUNK ***** ***** FAKEBOOK ***** ***** ***** ***** By St. Jude, R.U.Sirius, and Bart Nagel ***** ****************************************************** ****************************************************** ******************************************************
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ + SECTION I: + + CYBERPUNK…WHY?? + + Okay… HOW??? + + + ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
====================================================== Chapter 1: CYBERPUNK: A CHALLENGING POSTMODERN LIFESTYLE CHOICE Why Bother? Big Wins! (and Unexpected Smallstuff) ======================================================
Cyberpunk is extremely hip. Being extremely hip is the last hope for people with no money and no power. Being hip gets you big wins in the status game. Hipness can crush your enemies and attract the apposite sex. Best of all, cyberpunk is the next big thing AFTER the next big thing. You can hop on the cyberpunk bandwagon and coast for a long, long time. Think of the money you'll save on wardrobe updates! The worry you'll save on lifestyle decisions!
Cyberpunk has not yet been co-opted. In fact, this handbook is the very first exploitation of this hip new underground trend. This is the ground floor. Get in on it!
====================================================== Chapter 2: ACHIEVING CYBERPUNK Being It or Faking It ======================================================
What is there to know about being a cyberpunk? Leather jacket, mirrorshades— that just about does it, right? This kind of patronizing shirt must farking DIE.*
*Since we can't afford to offend any parental units who might *purchase this book for their family circle, all chancy verbs *and nouns have been cleverly encyphered. This is in the *spirit of true cyberpunkhood, see <<Encryption>>.
You think cyberpunk is just a leather jacket, some chrome studs, and fully reflective sunglasses? You think that's all there is? Hah! You can find those on Kansas City bikers and the whole California Highway Patrol. The true cyberpunk might tuck a *cellular-modem laptop* under a spiked leather arm, and a *laser pointer* in the upper zip pocket. Or, a true cyberpunk may look just like YOU. But sHe** who knows doesn't tell, and **hirm who tells doesn't know.
**Pronoun disclaimer: **All pronouns in this book started life as intact males— **he, his, and him. If anything bad happened to them **afterwards, blame it on the Riot Grrrls Bobbitt Squad.