"Thuno Flâtum," I announced, with an abrupt bow, "here I am! I come at your summons, as the President of the People's Better Air Association!"
It was easy to see that my words had produced consternation. The helmeted guards, clearly revealed by their reflections in the mirrors, unbent from their stony rigidity sufficiently to allow the pikes to tremble in their hands; the body servants of Thuno Flâtum seemed paralyzed with amazement, and for the moment forgot their attentions to their regal master in order to stare at me in petrified unbelief. And a group of spectators, doing obeisance upon their hands and knees, collapsed with surprise, and did not regain their composure for many minutes.
Apparently never before had Thuno Flâtum been addressed so familiarly!
The monarch himself seemed dumbfounded and leaned forward in his chair until I feared he would fall out, staring at me with his binocular-like eye-pieces as if trying to see right through me.
It was a moment before any of his attendants could recover themselves sufficiently to lift the megaphone to his mouth.
"What is that you say?" he squeaked, when at length he was equipped with his speaking tube. "Do you know that you are addressing the Prime Dictator and High Chief Potentate of Wu?"
"To be sure, Your Abysmal Excellency, that is why I am here," I returned, suavely. "It would hardly suit my purpose to waste time on any lesser official."
The "Prime Dictator" glared at me. Owing to the eye-pieces, the ear-pieces, and the nose-pieces that covered his face, it was impossible to see his expression clearly; yet I am sure he glared at me. And his puny little form shook with such a violence of wrath that not until his attendants had fanned him for five minutes and applied doses of cold water was he able to find words again.
"Who are you, to speak to me in this manner?" he at length demanded, in accents which showed that he had not pierced my disguise. "Your tones are the uncultivated ones of some Third Class viper! Do you not realize that you have been guilty of Contempt of the First Class—an offense worse than treason? Better men have been executed for less atrocious crimes!"