"Since my poor health makes it necessary for me to renounce the duties of State for a time, I wish that you, Your Highness, would rule in my place during my absence. I am confident that it would be impossible to find any one more competent than your eminent self. During my absence, the people must grant you the same unquestioning respect and obedience they would accord to myself.
"Faithfully your servant,
THUNO FLÂTUM,
Prime Dictator and High Chief Potentate of Wu."
For a moment, as I folded the document back into my pocket, a thunderstricken silence possessed the people. Then all at once they broke into such an uproar as I had never heard before. "Long live Luma! Long live Luma! Long live Luma the Illustrious!" They cheered and yelled, while writhing and leaping and stamping and dancing in irrepressible glee. "Long live Luma! Long live Luma the Illustrious!" My ruse had succeeded even beyond my expectations!
Now, as never before, I realized the advantages of thoughtlessness. My hearers, being all Second and Third Class citizens, had been so thoroughly trained in this creed that it had never occurred to them to question my assertions. Already I had resolved that, as Dictator, I would make thoughtlessness compulsory.
But alas for my high hopes! Just as I was mentally congratulating myself on my success, there occurred an event that seemed likely to undo all I had accomplished. The audience had scarcely ceased shouting "Long live Luma! Long live Luma! Long live Luma the Illustrious!" when a commotion arose at the corner nearest the entrance, and I could see the guards swaying back and forth, as if to throw out some troublesome intruder.
"What is it, men? What is it?" I shouted, indiscreetly, not in the least suspecting the source of the disturbance.
Momentarily the commotion ceased, while the husky voice of one of the guards shouted back.
"Your Abysmal Excellency, what shall I do? There is a man here who claims to be Thuno Flâtum!"
At these words, I was as near to heart failure as I ever hope to be. Momentarily a mist passed before my eyes, and I felt myself quivering and clutching at an iron railing for support. Then, as the attack of vertigo passed, I could see how the crowd, awed by the magic words "Thuno Flâtum," had made way near the source of the commotion, leaving a figure to wheel toward me on a "scootscoot," accompanied by half a dozen attendants.
How well I recognized that shrivelled form, with the bald head, the toothless mouth, the ear-pieces and eye-pieces, the nose-tubes and the megaphone! His royal garments were, it is true, a little frayed and damaged; the purple crest upon his head was torn and bedraggled, the green and saffron of his uniform was soiled with muddy blotches, and the string of huge rubies no longer dangled about his neck. Nevertheless, I had seen enough of the Dictator to identify him even in his present shabby plight!