Having awarded myself this title as a final stroke of genius, I dispatched the letter through a pneumatic tube and sat down to await results.
CHAPTER XXIII
I Become Second Class
In spite of strikes and minor catastrophes, the war between Wu and Zu was still being waged. Of late, however, it had grown a bit dull and unexciting; both factions had been entrenching themselves for a dogged fight over Nullnull; and, except for the periodic capture and recapture of a few square yards and the daily "turnover" of several thousand men on each side, nothing of much consequence was happening. It is this fact that explains the interest in the Ventilation Strike; for the people of Wu, thanks to their scrupulous practice of thoughtlessness, require something to keep them constantly entertained.
Nevertheless, the inhabitants of Zu had not forgotten that they were still fighting; and when they heard of the ventilation troubles in Wu, they hailed the news with vast secret jubilation, and their statesmen and generals chuckled and vowed to take advantage of the opportunity. This meant, of course, that they were determined to produce a great enemy "turnover"; while, in order to accomplish this end, they had to resort to the Subterrains, those formidable machines which bored underground and attacked by means of Mulflar torpedoes.
The result was that, on the day the strike was officially declared, half a dozen Subterrain assaults were launched in widely scattered districts throughout Wu. Always the destruction was enormous, although the "turnover," according to treaty, was limited to Second and Third Class citizens. But the facts were not known until long afterwards, and then but imperfectly, since the papers, in their pre-occupation with weightier matters, rarely had space to give to enemy triumphs. Hence the explosion that wrecked the headquarters of the Central Striking Committee was not generally ascribed to its actual source.
There is no question, in view of subsequent investigations, that this represented but one of the series of Subterrain attacks; however, it occurred at such a time and in such a way that another interpretation seemed possible. The Head of the Committee was known to have received my letter of defiance, and had just called his secretary to dictate an ultimatum, which would end my revolt once and for all ... when suddenly the earth rose beneath his feet, and he and a corps of his assistants were "turned over" in a disaster that left their offices a charred heap of ruins.