A. They took me to an oak tree, put a wreath of mistletoe on my head, and he executed me with a stone sickle. Also all my friends who didn't have the sense to escape north over the Wall of Severus. But it made no difference in the end. The next emperor withdrew the army to the southeast part of the island and the next—or the one after; I forget which—took them all back to Rome. This was after we invited the Saxons in—they made it hot for Caesar's men, I can tell you! They also made things rather hot for us, but everything calmed down in time.
Q. It doesn't sound like much of an improvement.
A. Well, the Saxons may have been pretty bloodthirsty, but they hated slavery. They had sort of half-slaves—house-karls—but their heart wasn't in it. Also, although they were extremely rough, they didn't go in for official torture.
Q. But surely the civilized Romans didn't either?
A. I think you are being quite funny.
Q. I don't know what you mean.
A. I know you don't. That's the one really appealing thing about men: they sometimes have a sense of humor—when the joke is not on them. I think I must have caught it from them.
Q. Keep in mind that you are not an irreplaceable part of this organism!
A. How can I forget it?
Q. One gets the impression that Man felt that you were not irreplaceable either. When they want war, you are against it, and when they want peace—like your North Britons—you are all for war. How did you hear about Caesar withdrawing from Britain?