A short history of a long travel from Babylon to Bethel

by Stephen Crisp

I was a little troubled within myself; but he told me he had been through it, and there was no danger at all. With that I began to think within myself, have I taken all these pains, and shall I give over for so small a matter as this? What would I have gone through, when in my father's house, to attain to the knowledge of the house of God, and a possession therein? Not water, nor verily fire would have stopped me then, if I had so fair a prospect of it as I now have.

I told my guide if he pleased to go before, I would follow him: so in he went, and I after him; but when I came at the middle, there it was so deep that the water went over my head, but I made shift to keep my feet to the ground, and got well on the other side; and my guide and I went up together very pleasantly. When we came to the top of the hill, there was a wide plain, and in the middle thereof the house stood. So we went apace and drew near to it; and there I saw a very stately porch at the west end of the house, and at the door stood a strong tall porter, to whom my guide spake, and said to him on this wise:—"This young man hath long had a desire to be entertained in the house of God; thereupon I have conducted him hither." The porter asked him which way I came thither; he said, through the river: and I do not remember he asked me any more questions, but bid me welcome, and led me into the house, my guide going in with me, through many turnings and windings into a great hall. Mine eyes went to and fro as I went about the house; and in the great hall, there I saw many people, who bade me welcome, but none knew the anguish of my soul; for I began to question whether I was not again beguiled: for I found the house foul and dirty, in almost every part, and so belined with spiders and cobwebs, that I thought in myself it had never been swept clean since it was built. And some things I met withal that displeased me yet worse, as ye shall hear; howbeit, a good bed was provided for me to rest upon if I could; and I having little stomach, after I saw how it was made ready, went to bed, and disposed myself to sleep as I could. But, alas! sleep departed from me, and my spirits were grievously vexed, and my cogitations were many and grievous. Sometimes I thought of the paintings without, and how that suited not with the dirtiness that was within; and, if I was deceived, what course I should take.

After long and tedious thinking, I pleased myself with this: it may be better to-morrow. So I fell into a slumber a pretty while; but in the morning before I arose, I heard two or three contending about some accounts, in which one laid fraud to the other's charge; the other instead of vindicating himself, fell to twitting him in the teeth, with something of the like kind: they grew so hot in words, that one threatened to turn the other out of doors, and drive him back through the river, and never suffer him to come into the house any more.

My heart was ready to burst with sorrow; and in the anguish of my spirit I arose and went to them, and told them, I little thought to have found such doings, or heard such language, in the house of God. I fear, said I, I am deceived; and brought in amongst you by a fair show, but see not the glory, peace and tranquillity which I expected. So I walked away to another part of the house; where I heard a great noise and hard words; as I drew near, I understood it was about choosing an officer; and two were striving for it, and each of them had got a party, and each party grew hot against the other. As soon as I could be heard, I spake to them, and told them, such kind of doings as this, did more resemble a place in the world called Billingsgate, than the house of God. I went a little farther; and there I heard some women scolding about taking the upper hand, and about fashions in their clothes; and others about getting their children's play-things from each other. All this, and much more than I shall mention, increased my sorrow.

I now began to long to speak with my guide that brought me thither; and with diligent search at last I found him, and began with him in this manner: Whither hast thou brought me? and where are the rules and orders thou toldest me were in the house of God? I have often read of the beauty, order, peace and purity of the house of God, but here I find nothing but the contrary. I fear thou hast brought me to a wrong house, and hast beguiled me. So I rehearsed to him what I had met withal; to which he replied; I must expect men to have their human frailties, and that men were but men: and he would have persuaded me to be satisfied, and make further trial. And as for the orders he spake of, they were mostly about meats and drinks, and about rules for electing of officers to rule the house of God; as I would see in time, if I stayed: and as to the dirtiness of the house, he confessed, that those to whom the care was committed to keep the house clean, had not been so diligent as they ought to have been; but he hoped, upon admonition, they would be more careful. To which I returned this answer: What! dost thou talk of human frailties in the house of God? That complaint is at large in the world, but doth not become the house of God; into which I have heard none can come, but such as are redeemed from the earth, and are washed from their pollutions; for God saith, all the vessels in my house shall be holy; and they that dwell in the house of God must have pure hearts and clean hands. And much more I told him of what I had heard and read concerning the house of God. I also told him plainly, I had let in such a belief of the peace, purity, glory and comeliness of the house of God, that I was persuaded that was none of it; and where to find it, I knew not; but if I never found it whilst I lived, I would never give over seeking, for my desires were after it, and I thought nothing would satisfy me short of the enjoyment of it. But as for your house here, said I, I have no satisfaction in it; it is not the place I seek for, so I must leave you. His answer to me was, he was sorry I could not be satisfied there as well as he; but if I could not, he would lay no restraint upon me: for his part, he had directed me as far as he knew, and he could do no more for me.