I didn't happen to wake up till they had practically finished. So I really missed the whole thing.
The assistants had gone, and the dentist was mixing up cement and humming airs from light opera just like old times. It made the world seem a bright place.
I went home with no teeth. I only meant them to remove one, but I realized that they had taken them all out. Still it didn't matter.
Not long after I received my bill. I was astounded at the nerve of it! For administering gas, debtor, so much; for removing teeth, debtor, so much;—and so on.
In return I sent in my bill:
Dr. William Jaws
DEBTOR
| To mental agony | $50.00 |
| To gross lies in regard to the nothingness of gas | 100.00 |
| To putting me under gas | 50.00 |
| To having fun with me under gas | 100.00 |
| To Brilliant Ideas, occurred to me under gas and lost | 100.00 |
| ——— | |
| Grand Total | $400.00 |
My bill has been contested and is in the hands of a solicitor. The matter will prove, I understand, a test case and will go to the final courts. If the judges have toothache during the trial, I shall win.
