Nonsense Novels

by Stephen Leacock

Contents

[PREFACE]
[I. Maddened by Mystery: or, The Defective Detective]
[II. “Q.” A Psychic Pstory of the Psupernatural]
[III. Guido the Gimlet of Ghent: A Romance of Chivalry]
[IV. Gertrude the Governess: or, Simple Seventeen]
[V. A Hero in Homespun: or, The Life Struggle of Hezekiah Hayloft]
[VI. Sorrows of a Super Soul: or, The Memoirs of Marie Mushenough]
[VII. Hannah of the Highlands: or, The Laird of Loch Aucherlocherty]
[VIII. Soaked in Seaweed: or, Upset in the Ocean (An Old-fashioned Sea Story.)]
[IX. Caroline's Christmas: or, The Inexplicable Infant]
[X. he Man in Asbestos: An Allegory of the Future]

List of Coloured Plates

[Hannah Understood]
[“Come In”]
[Hugo the Hopeless had hanged himself]
[“Henceforth you are no father of mine. I will get another.”]
[Hezekiah shot the footman twice through the livery]
[“No,” he said, “it is a cow”]
[“Welcome on board, Mr. Blowhard”]
[“No, I’ll take no buttermilk, I must keep a clear head to work”]

PREFACE

The author of this book offers it to the public without apology. The reviewers of his previous work of this character have presumed, on inductive grounds, that he must be a young man from the most westerly part of the Western States, to whom many things might be pardoned as due to the exuberant animal spirits of youth. They were good enough to express the thought that when the author grew up and became educated there might be hope for his intellect. This expectation is of no avail. All that education could do in this case has been tried and has failed. As a Professor of Political Economy in a great university, the author admits that he ought to know better. But he will feel amply repaid for his humiliation if there are any to whom this little book may bring some passing amusement in hours of idleness, or some brief respite when the sadness of the heart or the sufferings of the body forbid the perusal of worthier things.

STEPHEN LEACOCK