XXX—SUBSPACEGRAM—XXX FROM HERMAN SPOTTSWORTH INTERSTELLAR DIVISION TERRAN INSURANCE COMPANY BALTIMEARTH XXX TO SAMMY TRUMPLE RMPLDECROIDESANSPERTXKLE HALCYON XXX DON'T GO GETTING ANY IDEAS FROM THIS LAR LUK FELLOW XXX REMEMBER YOUR COMPANY LOYALTY XXX REMEMBER OUR MOTTO XXX REMEMBER ALL THOSE PREMIUMS YOU HAVE TO PAY XXX THE CHIEF OF SALES WANTS RESULTS SOON XXX. I WANT RESULTS SOON XXX OTHERWISE HE'LL HAVE MY HEAD XXX I'LL HAVE YOUR HEAD SPOTTSWORTH XXX TRANSMITTED VIA ALPHA CENTAURI SUBSPACE STATION XXX SEND FLOWERS BY SUBSPACE TO ANY PART OF MILKYWAY GALAXY AT NO EXTRA COST XXX QUARTERLY SPECIAL: ARCHENAR III DRAGON BLOSSOMS XXX ALPHACENT XXX
Rmpldecroidesanspertxkle
Halcyon
Dear Boss:
You don't have to worry about my company loyalty. But still, no sales. Unfortunately, half of Rmpldecroidesanspertxkle was wiped out yesterday in an air-raid. I'm lucky I came through it with a whole skin. I went through the hospitals and first aid stations to canvas what was left of the population. They're just not buying. They can't—or refuse to—grasp the meaning of life insurance. The following conversation is typical:
ME: But in a devastating war like this, you need protection. Most other insurance companies wouldn't issue policies under the circumstances. You can consider it an interstellar public service by Terran Insurance.
IT: What do I need life insurance for?
ME: Don't you have a family? Loved ones? People you'd like to see cared for after your—uh—that is, if you're suddenly not around to take care of the bills and things, if you....
IT: You mean if I drop dead?