"It's like those eerie stories nurses tell,
Of how some actor on a stage played Death,
With pasteboard crown, sham orb and tinselled dart,
And called himself the monarch of the world;
Then, going in the tire-room afterward,
Because the play was done, to shift himself,
Got touched upon the sleeve familiarly,
The moment he had shut the closet door,
By Death himself."
Jack had sat silent and motionless, too much dazed even to rise and leave her. There was a sound of more voices in the hall, and Charlie Framlingham waltzed into the room with Jack Summertown and subsided at a table by the door. They had hardly begun supper when George Oakleigh entered to say that war had changed from speculation to probability and that officers were being mobilized. Then at last Jack roused, and she had only a moment for making amends.
"Jack was talking about applying for a commission," she went on. "I went out on to the terrace, I wanted to think.… It was no good apologizing.… They got into the car, one after another. I was still trying to think. Jack came down the steps.… And then I saw that there was only one reparation I could make; I had to offer myself to him, even if he hit me in the mouth.… I didn't care about my vanity now; I called out to him, but the others were making such a noise.… The car started, I was blinded by the head-lights. When I could see again, there was only a little pin-point of red light. I shouted, ran.… Then I came back. When every one else had gone to bed, I told Jim. And I thought he'd have killed me.… And then I swore solemnly that Jack should have me if he wanted me. I wrote to him, and he never answered my letter. I tried to see him. And now …"
Eric rose and stood by the fire, resting his head on his hand.
"You offered the only reparation in your power," he said at length.
"What am I to do?" she asked dizzily. "I want peace! … I told him that, whatever happened, however long the war went on, I should always be here, always ready to keep my promise, always prepared to make what amends I could.… I've dedicated myself. If he's alive, until he tells me that he rejects me …"
With a sigh of exhaustion, she slipped forward, turning as she fell and burying her arms and face. The rose in her hair trembled to the heaving of her shoulders and scattered a shower of petals over the cushions of the sofa.
4
"And I meant to be so sweet, I meant to make you enjoy yourself until you thought me quite irresistible," Barbara laughed through her tears, kneeling upright on the sofa and dabbing at her eyes. "And then I was going to tell you that I have to come up to my dentist once a week for about two months; and I shall be all alone and I wanted you to promise to make me happy—like to-night."
Her recovery was as sudden as her collapse. Still kneeling with her hands clasped behind her head, she leaned forward until he had to catch her in his arms.