“Of course.”
She held out her hands to him, but he pretended not to see them. The last man to kiss her was Gaymer; where he kissed, a fume of liquor and lasciviousness remained....
“You want to marry me after seeing—him? You’ve satisfied him that it’s all over?”
Her frown deepened, but there was no indication of embarrassment.
“He still claims that we’re engaged—,” she began.
“Does he still think he’s going to marry you?”
“Yes.”
“You’ve told him you won’t?”
He regretted the question as soon as it was uttered. However dishonourably Ivy had behaved, there was no pleasure in driving her inch by inch into a trap; in a world of liars there was never much satisfaction in convicting any one of a lie.
“Yes, I told him that,” she answered. “I also told him I would... You won’t understand that, I expect, but I couldn’t help myself. That’s why I don’t want you to go away and leave me, Eric; that’s why, a month ago, I didn’t want to wait. I daresay you despise me, but I always feel he can make me do whatever he wants. I can’t tell you why. That night... when we came out of a theatre, he said ‘Are you going home, or are you coming home with me?’ I’d never been home with him so late, I knew what would happen, I didn’t want it to happen. I was horribly frightened and I hoped, when he saw I was frightened, that he would spare me. I should have thought any man would... I couldn’t help myself; and that’s why I’ve never been as much ashamed as I ought to be. Even when I thought he’d got tired of me, when I hated him and could have murdered him, I still felt that he might come back and I should have to obey him... I don’t want to be left alone, Eric. When we’re married, it will be all right; I shall have you to protect me. I’ve been ill—and, before that, I was desperately miserable; perhaps I haven’t really been accountable for my actions. But, if he’d picked me up in his arms last night and carried me off, I couldn’t have resisted. Until we’re married, you mustn’t leave me—”