But there was something more than an abstract desire to help. He could now confess to himself that he would have been disappointed if Gaymer had been anxious or even willing to marry Ivy....
“It would be one way out of the difficulty,” he suggested indifferently.
“And it would be one way into a great many others,” said Gaisford sharply, a little startled to find himself taken so literally.
“You mean I’m damaged goods? I know that,” said Eric quietly.
Gaisford made a noise of impatience as he looked up at the spare frame and thin, vital face in front of him. He was reasonably proud of the man whom he had so long kept alive and now restored to full health.
“I mean nothing of the kind. Eric, you owl, you’re making a very big income, you’ve a very big reputation all over the world. You’ve everything to offer. If you’re treating the question as a profit-and-loss account, I confess I don’t see what this girl—”
“Don’t you?” As he stared up at the light, Eric’s eyes grew bigger and changed from smouldering brown to a black brilliance that illumined his whole face. “She gives me youth, beauty... Gaisford, if you try to be cynical, I shall brain you; she gives me something to talk to, something to look after, something to care for... Some one who believes in me... I don’t ask more than that of any woman in these latter days. All this business about money and position... God! If I could give everything I’ve got, everything I’m likely to get, lay it at her feet, persuade her to accept it—”
“Are you in love with her?,” the doctor enquired with a sedative detachment that stilled the passion in Eric’s voice.
“It might make me... I’ve been paralysed for the last two years; there’s been absolutely nothing in life for me. I must be fond of that child, or I couldn’t worry about her so much... If I had somebody to care for, somebody to try and make happy, somebody to take me out of myself and make me forget myself... Then I could win... I never used to be lonely... I’m talking to you as the ideas come, Gaisford... You said it as a joke, but, if you ask me seriously why I don’t marry her....”
His tone and attitude did not invite cynicism. Gaisford stood up and laid a hand on his shoulders.