Dr. Frankl responded with a question: "What would have happened, Doctor, if you had died first, and your wife had had to survive you?"
"Oh," he said, "for her this would have been terrible; how she would have suffered!"
"You see, Doctor, such a suffering has been spared her, and it is you who have spared her this suffering; but now, you have to pay for it by surviving and mourning her."
The physician said nothing, but rose to his feet, shook Dr. Frankl's hand, and calmly left his office. "Suffering ceases to be suffering in some way at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of sacrifice."[[2]] It is the basic concern of logotherapy to help patients see the meaning in their lives.
[[2]] Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning, pp. 178-179.
Logotherapy is known for two techniques endorsed by Viktor Frankl. He called them dereflection and paradoxical intention.
Many emotional problems have their roots in what psychotherapists call anticipatory anxiety: a woman who is afraid of blushing when she enters a room filled with people will tend to blush. A man who fears impotence and who tries to achieve an erection will often fail. A woman who willfully tries to achieve orgasm also will frequently fail. These are examples of excessive, or hyper-, reflection. Excessive, anxious attention is paid to what we fear or wish, bringing about the very thing we are trying to avoid.
Frankl developed specific ways of refocusing or rechanneling this excessive attention. Dereflection could take the form, for example, of persuading the blushing woman to concentrate on particular things when she enters a crowded room: to look for acquaintances, to admire what someone may be wearing, or to look for objects in the room to appreciate, for example. In the case of impotence or frigidity, often a shift of attention from yourself to your partner's pleasure will eliminate anticipatory anxiety.
Frankl describes an attempt to help a bookkeeper who was in real despair and close to suicide. For several years he had suffered from writer's cramp: very real muscular cramps that reduced his legible script to an illegible scrawl. He was in danger of losing his job.
He was treated with paradoxical intention. He was asked to write in an intentionally illegible scrawl. But he found that when he deliberately tried to scrawl, he could not. Within two days, his writer's cramp had vanished. Similar approaches have been very effective—and long-lasting—in certain cases of severe stuttering, uncontrolled shaking, washing compulsions, insomnia, sexual difficulties, and other problems.